MRS. JANE ROSSMAN

&

BRUCE WAYNE

 

August 12th, 2008 thru August 23rd, 2008

 

Jane Rossman has led a bitter life, but Bruce Wayne is only too happy to avenge the wrong-doings done against her.

 

From: jane rossman <janerossm@gmail.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Tue, Aug 12, 2008 at 3:19 AM

Subject: Please reply urgntely

 

Mrs.Jane Rossman
TEL: +27-73-042-9633
FAX: +27-86-663-6226
Please reply urgntely on the Alternative email:jrossman01@hotmail.com

I know this email would be of great surprise to you which I believe would be of great interest to you. I'm looking for a capable foreign
partner that will assist my family and me.

During the current crises against white farmers in Zimbabwe and from the support of our President Robert Mugabe to take over all the white owned farms and my late husband as at then was in joint farm business with a white farmer in our country.

All the white farmers were ordered to surrender their farms to his black party members and his followers. My husband was one of the co-joint farmers in our country and treasury of the farmer's co-operation. He did not support this motive and so the party members invaded my husband's farms and burnt everything in the farm, killed my husband with his white associate and made away with a lot of items in their farm.

After the death of my husband, my child and I decided to move out of Zimbabwe . When we are preparing to leave, I found a file that was containing depository documents of a huge amount of money with one of the Security Company in South Africa for purchasing of agricultural equipment's and chemicals before his date occur. Some money was kept which amounted to 12million dollars. On our arrival to the Republic of South Africa where we issued an asylum permit (Refugee), which by there Government law does not allow us of immediate claim and right due to our political status as Asylum seeker.

I was advice to get an overseas firm whom will assist me to move this money out of South Africa , since we are not permitted at the present to self claim of the money and for the fact that my late husband has a foreign co-business associate. If you consider this proposal, we will give you 25% of the total sum for helping us to move this money out to your country and 75% will be for me and my family to invest in your country in any lucrative business of our choice.

If you should accept to assist me, I will need you to come over for more clarification and arrangement on how to move the money to your bank account in your country. Please furnish me with your personal phone and fax numbers for easy communication. You can contact my son FRANKLIN ROSSMAN on the above telephone number. NOTE: that this transaction is 100% risk free and absolutely confidential.

You may wish to read about the problems in Zimbabwe my country through the following links clearing any doubt proposition to ascertain my reasons of contacting you and the situation we are in and really will appreciate if you assisted us.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/ world/africa/918781.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/ world/africa/715001.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/ world/africa/1063785.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/ africa/6448559.stm

Thanks and God bless you.

Mrs. Jane Rossman
TEL: +27-73-042-9633
FAX: +27-86-663-6226

Those news article links she sent are real, but some of them are also six years old at this point. She definitely gives out a lot of information in this first email...definitely not wasting any time luring me in. In spirit of the THE DARK KNIGHT, I thought it was time for a little Bruce Wayne action. Also, notice how this email comes from a Gmail address, but asks for you to reply to a Hotmail address. I completely ignore this request, and just reply back to the Gmail address. This comes into play later, when I get a reply for another address altogether. 

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jane rossman <janerossm@gmail.com>

Date: Tue, Aug 12, 2008 at 7:14 AM

Subject: RE: Please reply urgntely

 

Dearest Jane Rossman,

 

Good day to you madam. Allow me to introduce myself to you, albeit informally, via this email communication message. My name is Bruce Wayne, and I live in a large scale American city.

 

I have read of your plight, and have for many years, and it always saddens me to see people in your situation. What happened in your country would be known here as 'reverse racism,' as it is the whites who are on the receiving end there.

 

I, too, have had people taken away from me whom I cared deeply about. At a very early age, my parents were murdered in an alley while coming out of the theatre. The lack of justice that was done for them has spurred my life, you may say, and it has transformed me into someone who helps those in your type of situation.

 

In any event, I read of your situation, and I wish to help in any way possible. As you may not already know, I am a billionaire philanthropist who always looks to give away to charitable organizations.

 

Unfortunately at this time, my manor estate is under going renovations to some of its lower portions, so my phone lines are down. I only have one operational phone at the moment, but unfortunately, it is programmed to only makes outgoing calls to the Commissioner's office. Perhaps you can communicate your needs to me via this email for now until my regular phones are up and running again.

 

I hope to hear from you soon, and help you in your fight for freedom.

 

- Bruce

Bruce Wayne is never one to turn his back on the unfortunate. Also, the phone is a reference to the old Adam West Batman show. But you knew that already, right? I want a big red phone that only connects me to the Commissioner. 

 

From: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 3:33 AM

Subject: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dear Mr Bruce,

 

Thanks so much for your positive response and consideration to help restore my situation.But i am most saddened by the cruelsome murder of your parents,this is so shockening,it is a very strange occurance.This has really lowered my spirit,but on a second thought ,my contacting you is out of spiritual inspiration.

 

With my situation,i will suggest we involve the services of an experienced and a very competent local law firm that will help structure out effective strategies that will facilitate the transfer of fund into your your country provided bank account.

 

If this suggestion is ok by you then i will make contact to get in touch with a good attorney firm.

Sincerely yours,

Jane Rossman.

Cruelsome murder! Nice word usage, Jane! Also, notice how this reply comes from an Yahoo address. Must be multiple people working this scheme.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 8:40 AM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dear Mrs. Jane Rossman,

 

Thank you for kind words in regards to the death of my parents. Though it still haunts me to this day, it has mad me the man I currently am today, and his propelled me into a better man. And it is quite possible that you have contacted me out of spiritual inspiration.

 

I agree with you about the law firm...I wish for you to contact them. If they do not suffice our needs, I do have a firm as well that could suit our purposes. However, we will use them as a back up. I wish for you to contact your local firm, and then we shall go from there.

 

Please excuse my short response, as I had a late night out last night, and only came in a few short hours ago. I am off to sleep for now, but I look forward to your response.

 

- Bruce

I hope she doesn't find out that I'm Batman.

 

From: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:57 AM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

My dear Bruce,

 

Your excuse is quite polite of you and honestly accepted.

 

Bruce,it will be nice to have a brief idea of my person.I am a 47yrs old lady with a surviving son that is 24yrs scholar that unforseen circumstance has put out of school for now.The strict law of refugee has really reduced our chances of surviving as normal human beings.Before this time we were subjected to zenophobic attack by citizens of this country,we were lucky that our lives were spared.

 

Our country that was supposed to be our beloved has been torn apart by our greedy and blood tasty president Robert Mugabe.At the moment there is power sharing negotiation going between the president and leader of opposition Morgan Tshangari.It was obvious that President Robert Mugabe lost out completely in last held election of the country but refused to give up inspite of pressure from other world leaders.It is not my wish to return to that country as the chances of prosperity is very slim.

 

I will endeavour to carry out a deligent search for a seasoned attorney that will help us channel this transaction to a successful conclusion.

 

Can you possibly furnish me with your telephonic details as to enable me or my son have a heart to heart conversation with you?

 

Remain blessed.

 

Regards,

J.Rossman.

Blood tasty president?! I don't know what that means, but I'm sure it's delicious!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:21 AM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dearest Jane,

 

I appreciate your telling me all about you. You and your son sound like lovely people. I am appalled to hear of these Zenophobic attacks. I myself have been victim of the Zenophobes, and I know it is not a pleasant experience. It took the power of the entire League to get these attacks to stop, and I'm sure you know what that is like.

 

It is unjust that these things were performed upon you. To hear that the law has reduced your chances of surviving as a normal human being amaze me...it seems like you must gain some sort of super power to even survive over there.

As for the president not giving up his seat of power over there, that is quite unreal. I can not believe he has the brass ones to even pull a stunt like that. Over here, we would come down on our president with the fist of justice of ever such an act took place.

 

Let me know when you make progress on finding an attorney. I know a good District Attorney. His name is Harvey and he's a good friend of mine. If all else fails, we could possibly use him. I wouldn't worry though, he's not as two faced as most attorneys.

 

As mentioned in my earlier email, my phones are out of order at the moment, as the telephone company still has not come out to fix them. Since my house is so from city limits, it takes awhile for them to get someone out to me. I do have that one working phone, but again, it only dials out to the commissioner's office.

 

In any event, I will be at work later this evening, as I have some business to take care of with an Hong Kong businessman named Lau. Perhaps I can give you my office number, and we can speak there?

 

Hope to hear from you soon,

 

Bruce

This shows a classic case of communication breakdown. I already told her my phone wasn't working, and yet she asked again for my number. These guys obviously don't communicate with each other when they are scheming. Also, Dark Knight references! Whoo!

 

From: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:53 AM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

My dearest Bruce,

 

coincidentally,we seem to share similar bitter experience of life.
You made mention of a district attorney named Harvey,do you think he will be able to make out time to pay a business visit to South-Africa to help legitimize this transaction?

 

The practise of law in this part of the world might slightly differ from your ones,don't you think so?Most of the constitution was drafted during the apatheid era,though going through periodic modifications and amendment.

 

I met with a prominent law firm proprietor today,by name MR PETER LEON.We discussed briefly about our transaction and you in particular as our nominated and Trusted foreign beneficiary.

 

From a briefly history of his firms track record,i was convinced of their capability of handling our transaction.

 

Though their charges might be slightly higher due to their reputation and the nature of our transaction.

 

Please,i cant wait to hear from you.Remain blessed.

Kind regards,

Jane.

I don't know, Harvey probably can't make it to South Africa anytime soon, he's too busy burning have his face off and having girlfriend is too busy being blown up.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:51 PM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dear Jane,

 

We do seem to share the similar experiences. Perhaps that is why we have been brought together in this venture?

 

Harvey, though probably willing, does not have the time to spare to go to South Africa. Though I'm sure he would relish the idea of getting out of the city for a bit, he is in the middle of a huge case involving money that is tied to the mob, so he has his hands tied at the moment. Oh well! You are right, though, the practices of law, though may be similar in some respects, are probably different in how they are executed in different countries.

 

I am glad you met with Peter Leon. I hope he is a trust worthy fellow. Do you happen to know the name of his firm? Perhaps I can look into it some more, just to be sure that he is able to handle what we require of him. I have access to extensive records, so I might be able to dig up any dirt on him, if there is any.

If they are trustworthy, then their high rates may be worth it. Money is no object at the moment, as I am well off, due to my family's inheritance, and I am willing to help you in anyway I can.

 

What can we do at this venture to move along?

 

If you'll excuse me, I need to get some rest. I had a late dinner date with my friend, Selina Kyle.

 

- Bruce

Catwoman, meow!

 

From: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 5:51 AM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

My dearest Bruce,

 

How wonderful to have somebody like you to confide in and also share business ideas with. Bruce it is my desire, if we are able to move these funds of ours out safely to your designate bank account in your country, to invest it in real estate business. I don't know how your country immigration law will treat us. Will they be kind to grant us a stay permit? Will your attorney friend Harvey be willing to assist us with necessary paper work on our arrival?

 

A banker friend has advised that it will be better for a Financial Adviser to be an intermediary between us and the attorney that will pilot the transaction to a successful conclusion. He made me to understand that attorneys due to their diversified profession and ideas will be fitted perfectly by a F.A. who is very acquainted with financial regulatory laws associated with international transfers.

 

I am now opting out to search for a very efficient F.A; I will pass you words when I have successfully arranged one.

 

Please do not feel that am too meticulous, as you can see am trying to be extremely careful as our future survival revolves around this fund that was secured by my late husband.

 

Sincerely yours,

Jane.

She must have a crush on Harvey, she wants him to help. I guess most girls have a crush on Aaron Eckhart. 

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 8:26 AM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dearest Jane,

 

I'm so glad that you have decided to invest your money in the real estate business. I own a bit of land myself here in this great city, and I am willing to help you in any way I can. I'm not sure of the exact logistics of the immigration law, but I'm sure something can be worked out. Harvey would be more than happy to help out with any required paperwork, I'm sure. I'll be sure to ask him when I see him this evening. I'm holding a fund raising party for him, so it will be a perfect opportunity.

 

A financial advisor sounds like a great idea. No, I do not think you meticulous, you are only being careful. I couldn't agree with that more. I know a bit of something about being careful myself...I just had a whole suit replaced so I could move better, faster, and be a little safer!

 

In any event, do let me know what you come across, and how I can be of assistance. I will be at my office most of the day today, but my faithful manservant, Alfred, will periodically be checking my email. I have instructed him to inform me when I receive an email from you.

 

All the best,

Bruce

Remember, because he got a new batsuit in the new movie? I hope Jane saw it. It was awesome.

 

From: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 1:21 PM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

My dearest Bruce,

 

With high spirit,am so relieved to inform you that i succeeded in locating a very experienced Financial adviser who has proven successful track record of having piloted similar transactions.

 

He is by name Mr Kerry Johnson,chartered accountant with email address as kerryj08@gmail.com,Telephone/ Fax number as +2711507 6967.

He enumerated the following steps that we are going to adopt in order not to face harsh effects of taxation.

 

First a binding contractual agreement has to be drafted that will guide us in course of this transaction,in so doing he has requested that you forward your identity document that bears your picture.

 

2) A letter of consent from you indicating your willingness to assist us in this mutual transaction,stating your percentage compensation at the end of the transaction.

 

3)That his service fees ,with consultation / mobilization inclusive will be paid into two instalment.First instalment shall be 40% of his service fee and the second instalment of 60% shall be paid just prior to the transfer of the project sum into your provided offshore bank account that is to be provided by you.His service fee which is still to be negotiated by you and us is tentatively put at 0.1% of the fund (USD12M) in question.

 

4)There will be change of ownership status into your names as a nominated foreign beneficiary to conform with South African monetary regulation.

 

This is how far i went today,i will really appreciate your opinion on how we are to forge ahead.

 

Kind reagards and anxious to read from you.

Jane.

I literally had no idea what she was asking me to tell him. I forgot the terms of the deal we made, because I had so many spam emails going on at once!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 4:49 PM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dearest Jane,

I hope you are doing well this afternoon! I just came in from an appointment with noted psychiatrist Jonathan Crane. Don't worry, I wasn't seeing him as a patient! It was more of a...erm...social visit!

Thank you for finding a good financial adviser. I hope that he meets all of your needs and our expectations. If you believe him to be of good nature, then I will trust your judgments.

Will he be drafting the contract? If not, I can always have my legal department throw something together. That's what I pay them for!

I will be glad to send him a letter of consent. I will have my manservant, Alfred, draft one up for me. Would it be possible for you to tell me the amount of the 'percentage compensation at the end of the transaction' like you mentioned? I will be happy to include it.

After you respond, I will send him the letter, along with my photographic identification, to his email address, and we will move forward with this deal!

Thank you for taking the time to do so, I appreciate your looking into this.

Now, off to The Iceberg Lounge for me!

- Bruce

Scarecrow?! Come on, now! She must not read comics or see movies!

 

From: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 2:46 AM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

My dearest Bruce,

 

Thanks for all your efforts to give immediate responds to my mails.

 

Like stated in the earlier business proposal,i have gladly offerred you 25% of the capital sum as your compensation,while 5% has been mapped out for the compensation of individual incidental expenses that might be incurred in course of actualizing this transaction and the remaining 70% will be for my family and self which we shall invest under your supervision in real-estate venture.

 

Though the draft will be legally drafted here but it would have nice to see to the composition of your legal department.

 

Your are a hard worker,it's so exciting to have an individual like you.My son and i can't wait to be with you.

 

Have a wonderful weekend.

Jane

Whoa whoa whoa...can't wait to be with me? Man, Bruce Wayne doesn't even have to try, and he's a babe magnet! Time to email the banker!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

Date: Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 10:49 AM

Subject: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Sir,

Allow myself to introduce myself. My name is Bruce Wayne. I am writing on behalf of Jane Rossman. She has asked me to write to you a letter of consent for a legal binding process of money transferring.  So, consider this my letter of consent:

I, Bruce Wayne, hereby indicated that I am willing to assist Jane Rossman in this mutual transaction. At the end of the transaction, I will be awarded 25% of the capital sum for my compensation. 5% will be for additional expenses that may occur along the way, and the remaining 70% will be given to Jane Rossman to do as she see fit.

She also asked that I include the proper identification, so you will find a copy of my license attached to this email.

Please inform me how to proceed from here.

Thank you for your time.

- Bruce

Attached was my driver's license:

 

 

Looks just like me, right? Thought so.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 10:49 AM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

My Dear Jane,

Sorry for my delay in response. It was a very long weekend. We had some unwanted guests at the party I was throwing my Harvey, and things got a little out of hand. Thankfully, things seem to be under control now, for the time being. I fear that things may get worse before they get better, though.

I have emailed Kerry Johnson and informed him like you have instructed me to do. I know it is Sunday, so I do not expect a response back from him for a little bit. However, when he returns my email, I will be happy to inform you of the progress.

I hope you have had a wonderful weekend, and can't wait to see you guys. Perhaps I can take you two skiing when you get here?

- Bruce

Jane was quick to respond. You see, she's not a banker, so she can work on Sundays, unlike Kerry Johnson!

 

From: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 2:02 PM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dearest Bruce,
 
I am so happy that you made contact with Mr K.Johnson.I feel that he will get me informed when he reaches his office desk tomorrow.
 
Please liase with him to the detail and also try to accord him the desired co-operation and respect as he is all out to summarize this transaction,all things being equal.
 
Thanks so much for the update.
God bless you always.
Jane.

I don't know how to 'liase' with anyone, but I sounded hot, so I agreed to it.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jane rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 6:01 PM

Subject: RE: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

My dearest one, Jane,

John Kerry has made contact with me. Hopefully he has reached out to you to tell you that I have contacted him.

I will liase with him as much as he will let me, and hope to finalize this transaction in a timely manner.

I must be off for now, as there seems to be some signal in the sky calling to me.

Be well,

Bruce

By the time I responded, it was Monday, and Kerry Johnson was at work, ready for me to do this transaction.

 

From: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 12:38 AM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Mr Bruce,

 

Thank you for making contact and letter of consent to act as your intermediary in this mutual transaction of yours has been accepted.

 

Your identity particular has been noted and a joint mutual contract agreement will be drafted in due course and we shall forward you a copy as soon as a drafted copy is ready for your endorsement.

 

We shall be acting by carrying out a diligent investigation of this transaction and making accurate verification of the documentation covering this transaction at the security and financial company where claimed sum is deposited for safekeeping.

 

As soon as this completed we shall be notifying you of our findings and subsequent measure to adopt.

 

We shall need you to forward the sum of our local currency or its equivalent in (USD)USD2000:00 as to enable us to effect a change of ownership status at the security and finance company, this is in line with the stipulated guideline with the South African Reserve Bank regulation for overseas monetary transfers.

 

You are advised to forward this money via money gram or Thomas cook using the names of our credit officer STEPHINAH BOSHIELO, Johanesburg.We normally dissuade our foreign client to ignore reason for sending money to avoid huge deductions in form of Taxes or simply regard it as gift since gifts are not subjected to taxation.

 

We are assuring you of excellent and prompt services.

 

Sincerely yours,

Kerry Johnson

Seeing as how he called me "Mr. Bruce," switching my last and first names, I decided I would give him a new name myself.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

Date: Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 5:58 PM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear John Kerry,

Thank you for your prompt reply. I like that in a man. It shows swiftness. And cunning.

I'm glad my identity has been noted, but I do hope you keep it a secret. I look forward to seeing a copy of the joint mutual contract agreement whenever it is drafted up. If you have any trouble at all putting one together, I am more than willing to help in anyway I possibly can.

I'm not sure if one Mrs. Jane Rossman has contacted you with the necessary documentation. If not, I will be happy to pass them along to you. You will find that they are flawless and quite real.

I will gladly forward you (USD)USD2000:00 for whatever charges may apply. Do you accept personal check? If not, I will send out to get a Western Union from Gotham Bank. I do not know what this method called "Thomas Cook" is, but if it is preferred, I will use that. Perhaps I am reading that wrong, and it is actually a person. Who am I to know? Please inform me of this process, and I will proceed. Also, I may need an address to send it to, so please inform me of this as well.

I look forward to hearing from you in a timely manner.

Thank you,

Bruce

And thus, we find that banking and the English language do not go together...

 

From: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Mon, Aug 18, 2008 11:12 PM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Mr.Bruce,

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail and its content is not well understood.

In your first paragraph you wrote "and cunning", can you really explain this to my understanding?

In your third paragraph, you also wrote," You find that they are flawless and quite real" can I understand you better before we can proceed?

Sincerely yours,

Kerry Johnson.

 I can really explain it to his understanding and I can make him understand me better.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

Date: Tues Aug 19, 2008 8:27 AM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Sir,

 

I am sorry that the content of my email was not well understood. I would be happy to oblige your questions.

 

To begin with, I meant 'cunning' to mean adeptness in performance; and/or dexterity. It was a compliment to you and your fast reply. It meant to show that I appreciate your commitment to this work, and I appreciate your effort.

 

By the quotation in the third paragraph, I was referring to the documents of the funds provided by Mrs. Jane Rossman. She has painstakingly made sure that these are the correct documents to help this process along, and I was merely stating that they are the correct ones for this transaction to proceed.

 

Please feel free to e-mail any further questions.

 

- Bruce

Thanks Dictionary.com!  

From: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Tues, Aug 19, 2008 1:16 PM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Mr Bruce,

You might be an author of English language and am obliged to accept your apology.

Could you please forward the requested sum as to enable us achieve the change of ownership status certificate.Money gram international money transfer is equivalent to western union but unfortunately we do not have western union here.Our address is 121 Lyndhurst RD,Johannesburg.

Sincerely yours,

Kerry.

They don't have Western Union there?! That's not what Adrein Jones said!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 20, 2008 8:00 AM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Mr Johnson,

 

I thank you for your kind words. I was trained at Oxford University so I have a full grasp on the English language, like a hand closing around a petty criminal's throat.

 

I will go out of my way today to find a way to forward you the requested sum you have requested. If I was to send a Western Union, is that to say you can not receive it, because you have no Western Unions there?

 

I do not believe we have any Money Gram International Stores here in Gotham...I'll have to ask my friend Harvey about it. Is that your preferred method of payment? Are you sure you do not want a personal check? I can send one out within an hour if need be.

 

I have also received your address, but it is not complete. Is it in England? Nigeria? Do you have zip codes over there, or are things not that advanced yet? Please let me know the fullest extent of your address.

 

Thank you, and speak to you soon.

 

Bruce

How can he expect me to send him money if I don't have the right address, right??

 

From: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 20, 2008 8:36 AM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Mr Bruce,

Sorry that the zip is missing,it is 2066,Johannesburg.

Regards,

Jane.

Thanks for clearing the address issue up, Jane. I don't think I would have...WHAT THE?!? WHY IS JANE ROSSMAN EMAILING ME FROM KERRY JOHNSON'S EMAIL?? Looks like I caught 'em.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 20, 2008 9:11 AM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Whoever,

 

It has come to my attention that you signed your last email 'Jane.'

 

This immediately brings your banking firm into my suspicions. I have ways of finding things out, and I demand an explanation.

 

Are you actually who you say you are, and signing it 'Jane' was merely a mistake???
 

Please respond immediately and explain your actions, so we can either conduct this business deal to closure or to an end with my fist entering your skull.

 

- Bruce

Let's see them talk their way out of this.

From: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 3:01 PM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Mr Bruce,

It wasn't a mistake,Jane was in my office while i opened your mail that seems unserious,stating that you schooled at oxford,and your bank in Gotham that doesn't exist.I instructed Mrs Jane to respond to your mail as i was in a serious meeting session.

Kerry.

Oh, Jane was in the office, answering your email while you were in a serious meeting session. Totally makes sense now. How silly of me.

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 5:37 PM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman

 

Dear Kerry,

Are you insulting me by saying that I am unserious? Do you know that I am often asked the question 'Why So Serious?' because I am quite often very serious?

Are you insulting my schooling, sir? Are you implying that I did not attend the prestigious Oxford Academy? Do you know that I graduated there, with honors, Magna Cum Laude, much like my father, and his father before him?

Are you also implying that the First National Bank Of Gotham does not exisit?  Do you know how many different banks are located in America? Do you know how many are locally owned banks and not large chains? Do you know that I only use small local banks because they are safer for me and my investments?

Do you know that I feel that you have insulted me? Do you know that I will let Mrs. Rossman know how I feel about this?

- Bruce?

 Bruce Wayne doesn't back down from an insult.

 

From: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 2:34 PM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dearest Bruce

 

How are you, I am very happy for your effort. I went to my financial adviser, he told me about how he has been communicating with you. He told me that the only problem you have is how to send him the money for the services. What you need to do is to go to Google com, type in these following words: MoneyGram agent locations near you.

 

God bless you always.

Jane.

Notice how, even though they are obviously the same person, Jane's tone is much nicer than Kerry's.

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 5:42 PM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN

 

Dear Jane,

I must confess, by dear Jane, that I am not at all happy with your financial adviser at the moment. You see, he seems to have insulted my intelligence, my schooling, and my banking institutions.

This is not something a man of my stature takes lightly. I know a brand of vigilante justice that would be perfectly suited for this instance, if he continues on this path.

If you truly feel he is the one for the job, I will continue along with this, but just know now that my suspicions of him have been raised, and I will be keeping an eye on him.

If you wish to continue to use him, let me know, and I will make the necessary internet searches for a money gram location.

- Bruce

Jane really wants this thing to go over smoothly. 

 

From: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 3:38 AM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN  

 

My dearest Bruce,

 

Please do not be angry with Mr K.Johnson,it was the same appeal that I gave to him in his office after the verification of documents at the security company.

 

He was not happy with the content of your mail and he instructed me to respond under his dictation by providing you with the requested Zip code which is otherwise termed postal code here. I wrote my name so that you will know that I sent it via his email box.

 

Please am the one in dying need at the moment, please lets forge ahead so that we can live a normal life soon with you.

 

Could you possibly assist by forwarding him the requested sum via moneygram as there is no western union service in South Africa.

 

Thanks for understanding and I will talk to my FA over this issue.

 

Remained blessed.

Jane.

I love that. "Via his email box." Hilarious. Also, again, she mentions a normal life with me. Did Bruce Wayne ever say she could mack it with him??

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 12:39 PM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN  

 

Dear Jane,
 
I'm sorry, but I just can not help but be angry with Mr. Johnson. He had no right to verbal attack me in that way.
 
I do not understand why he was unhappy with the content of my mail? I merely asked him what the zip/postal code was, and he blew his top. That is clearly unprofessional behavior.
 
In any event, I will forge ahead, like you asked. However, just note that I WILL be keeping an eye on him, for I believe he may not have the best intentions at heart. I think an enemy of mine may have gotten to him, and he is trying to undermine me. I will keep a close watch on this transaction.
 
I will instruct Alfred to go out and find a MoneyGram today.
 
- Bruce

I will use BROTHER EYE to watch him. 

 

From: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 2:23 PM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN  

 

My dearest Bruce,

 

Thank you so much for all your care. In the interest of successful conclusion of this transaction, I will earnestly appeal that we give peace a chance.

 

I spoke to Mr. Kerry today and he has really relaxed his nerves.

 

I will be so glad that we conclude this transaction soon.

 

Kind regards,

Jane.

Oh, good, he relaxed his nerves! I wonder if she gave him a massage!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2008 at 10:23 AM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN  

 

My Dear Jane,
 
You speak like the late John Lennon. We must always give peace a chance, but sometimes, that isn't always the way. Just ask the criminals of Gotham.
 
I have the MoneyGram in my hand. I have taken my receipt, and brought it home. Would you like me to scan it and send it to Mr. Johnson so he can see that it is coming?
 
-Bruce

At this point, I was trying to find a MoneyGram photo on the internet, hence my scrambling for time!

 

From: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2008 at 3:21 PM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN  

 

Dearest Bruce,

Thanks for your compliments that I speak like late J.Lennon.

If you have made payment at moneygram for Mr.K.Johnson to proceed with the transaction, please send the receipt that has the control number to him so that come Monday he can start processing the change of ownership status.

Thanks and have a pleasant weekend.

Jane.

Done and done! Though I haven't heard from him in a few days, time to email Kerry Johnson back...

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Kerry Johnson <kerryj08@gmail.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2008 at 3:47 PM

Subject: RE: Dear Sir - Mrs. Jane Rossman  

 

Dear Kerry,

Mrs. Rossman informs me that you have calmed your nerves. I do hope so, sir.

In any event, I have scanned the receipt for the MoneyGram, and attached it so you may continue with the transaction on Monday.

- Bruce

Attached was this fake receipt I made. Click to enlarge: 

 

 

Thanks to the ScamBusters website, they had all sorts of blank forms, so I printed one out, filled it in, and scanned it back in! I think I wrote some pretty funny stuff there, if I do say so myself!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2008 at 3:55 PM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN  

 

Dearest Jane,

Your welcome on the compliments that you speak like J. Lennon. I doubt you look like him, though.

I sent the scan to Kerry Johnson, and hopefully he will receive it soon.

- Bruce

I knew my time was ending with them. After reading that MoneyGram form, they had to know it was a joke. I mean, come on, EVERYONE knows Batman is Bruce Wayne.

 

From: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Sat, Aug 23, 2008 at 9:48 AM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN  

 

Dear Bruce,

It's so disappointing, disgusting and highly unexpected of you to play with ones adversity and emotions. It is not my wish to put a curse on you but I leave you to God almighty.

Regards,Jane.

Yup, they totally got it. Time to end this.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: Jane Rossman <janerossman_14@yahoo.com>

Date: Fri, Aug 23, 2008 at 12:02 PM

Subject: Re: FROM MRS JANE ROSSMAN  

 

Dearest Jane,

You are correct. It is disappointing, disgusting, and highly unexpected of me to play with ones adversity and emotions. However, did it to me first.

You see, I'm on to you. I know all about your little game and your little scam with John Kerry. You don't think I know what you are? Of course I know what you are.

You're the Joker's henchmen!!!

I do not know how or why you got my real identity or my personal email address, but I can assure you that your boss will pay for his crimes. I will seek you out like the little rats you are and lay down the long arm of justice upon you.

You scum aren't even worthy of fighting me face to face, you had to do it electronically. Well, don't you worry. With the help of Commissioner Jim Gordon, I will hunt you down. You have the mark of the Bat upon you now. Whenever you see a shadow move in the darkest corner, I will be there for...

I'M BATMAN

.....


Sincerely,

Bruce

 

 

I haven't heard from Jane or Kerry Johnson again.