THE GREAT SPAM EMAIL

ADREIN JONES

&

JEFFERSON T. KALNOKY III

 

 

Guys, you'll never believe this! There is this guy in Africa who has a LOT of money. I'm talking 20 MILLION US DOLLARS! That's a lot. And in exchange for me helping him get it out of the country, he'll give me 20% of it! That's STILL a lot! All I have to do is give him my bank account number, access to my accounts, $1100 for bank processing fees...

 

You guys all know what I'm talking about. We've all gotten those e-mails before. And they are hilarious, aren't they? Of course they are.

 

Well, surprisingly, one of these bad boys made it past my Spam Filter, and landed right in my Inbox. Fortunately, I was in a good mood, and decided to have a little fun with it. What follows is the e-mail exchange between myself, and those scamming Africans. 

 

It's a little lengthy, but if you take the time to read it, it's still hilarious.

 

Nothing has been changed or altered in anyway. I left in all of their spelling mistakes, and included all of their official 'documents' for your enjoyment. I'll even throw in some commentary here and there.

 

Everything from me will be normal, stuff from the scammer will be in BOLD, and the banker's stuff will be italicized

 

Enjoy!

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 3:35 PM

Subject: Investment Inquiry

Sir,
My name is Adrein Jones of Summit Medicals Inc based in Freetown, Sierra Leone.
I saw your listing in the site (www.triggerstreet.com) and I was impressed, hence my resolve to contact you for a business Investment.
I will wait to receive your response and will forward to you details of my investment proposal and also inform you of your remuneration in participation.
Please for further correspondence regarding Investment, I will request you send me a mail via my email: sejonesmich@yahoo.com
Regards,
Adrein

From the e-mail alone, you can tell it's a total scam. However, I like that he didn't throw it all in my face during the first e-mail. It makes it seem like he has to earn my trust first. I like that in a Nigerian scammer.

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 4:43 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Sir,
I've very interested in your investment proposal. I was recently speaking to some friends about investing, and would like to hear more.
- Jeff Heimbuch

That's a lie. I have no interest in investing money...unless, of course, it's someone else's.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 8:06 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Sir,

As per my earlier mail to you regarding investment, I wish to introduce myself again as Adrein Jones a medical doctor attached with Summit Medicals, Saint Paul, Freetown here in Sierra Leone. I am resident in 0644 Chamberlin way Freetown, Sierra Leone.

The reason I contacted you was as a result of your listing which I studied with satisfaction, hence my resolve to present this business proposal to you, which I know, will interest you. I have a widow here in my clinic who is on a political asylum, she has been so ill for some couple of months now. This woman confided in me based on the free medical attention I have been giving to her and her children. She had revealed to me of her life history and about her late husband who was a top military officer in one of the West African country before his death during the civil war and the fortune she inherited from her late husband.

She has asked me to source a credible and trustworthy partner abroad who will manage her funds for investment, the sum of Twenty million US dollars (US$20m), which her late husband deposited in a vault box with a safe financial institution based in Europe.

I wish to choose you for this venture and I believe you will be in the position to assist in managing this large sum in a profitable venture and also to help create a safe heaven for her and her children by making a residence arrangement for them in your country.

After she had disclosed this information to me, I saw the reason to request from her to allow me see the document relating to this deposit of which she did, now I have the document covering the deposit which I will not hesitate to send to you the copy as a prove for your confirmation as soon as I receive your response via email.

I am obliged to assist this lady knowing too well that she has a limited knowledge in the business world and as such she cannot manage this fund herself and in order to avoid any trace of her by her government.

From my discussion with her, she has agreed to give you a reasonable amount of percentage for your assistance and this has to be discussed upon the receipt of your response.

I will wait for your response then.

Adrein

 Twenty Million?! I was sold!

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Wed, Mar 26, 2008 at 10:04 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dr. Jones,

 

Thank you for your prompt response. It is such a sad state of affairs of the world we live in today that a poor widow and her children cannot freely use which has been rightly given to them. It is an atrocity that such things happen, and so many of us are powerless to help.

 

However, I am thankful for your putting me in a position to help.

 

I would very much like to further this discussion with you, but like you, I would like to see this proof in the form of this document you spoke of before I take any further action.

 

As for the matter of finding a safe residence for this widow and her children, I will be sure to help in that matter as well. I own a house in northern New Jersey which I am currently not residing in which could prove as a safe haven for this individuals until a more permanent residence is set up. I have a former female companion who is currently residing in the house, thinking she will win my affections back if she stays in my life. However, I have no time for love, Dr. Jones, and will be sure to inform her she may be getting house guests if she continues to stay there.

 

I look forward to hearing from you soon, Dr. Jones, and to helping this family in need.

 

Best,

Jeff Heimbuch, Esq.

Did you catch my Indiana Jones reference? Come on, that's awesome, isn't it? Unfortunately, my friend Adrein didn't get it.

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 2:55 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I am in receipt of your mail and have conveyed your response to Mrs. Rose Addo.

The funds were deposited with Banco Banesto Madrid Spain as you will find in attached copy of deposit certificate. The funds were securely deposited in the security vault box of the bank. Late Major John Addo had before his death instructed Banco Banesto to transfer deposited funds to Barclays London and Banco Banesto acted accordingly.

Barclays had held this account pending mandate status of late Major John Addo. Major John Addo scheduled an appointment with Barclays London to endorse his mandate before he met his untimely death. The fund is held as a bonded account by Barclays London at the moment.

Now that we are assured of your assistance, Mrs. Rose Addo will send a written request to Barclays London confirming that you were a close business associate of her late husband and that deposited fund was part of proceeds of your partnership with her late husband. This request will assist Barclays London process transfer in your favor.

I held a brief meeting with Mrs. Rose Addo were she agreed to offer you 20% of funds for your over all assistance and know how in investing funds. I will want you to reconfirm your full names to help process our request with the finance institution.

I will wait to hear from you.

You may wish to contact Banco Banesto for clarification if you wish but I advice you allow me work on matters for time being. You will find contact details of Banco Banesto below:

Contact officer: Alberto Sanchez

Bank: Banco Banesto Madrid Spain

Email: info@bancobenesto.com

Adrein

This is said 'deposit certificate.' Click for full size.

 

 

Definitely one of the best damn MSPaint jobs I've ever seen. Look at that official seal! It's gotta be authentic! It doesn't look like anything was copied and pasted anywhere!

 

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, Mar 27, 2008 at 6:50 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Yo Adrein,

Thanks again for your timely response, and for taking the time to send me the deposit certificate. I feel much safer about this investment business now.

I will not contact Mr. Alberto Sanchez at Banco Banesto, for I trust that you have the matter in good hands. I hope that Mr. Sanchez is a trustworthy fellow, for I have dealt with a Mr. Sanchez in the banking industry before, here in the States, and he was not. I trust your judgment in your Sanchez will be better than my dirty Sanchez.

Please assure Mrs. Addo that her funds will be in good hands while she awaits to move to America. On that note, do you know if she has a time frame of when she and her children will be making the transition from the Sierra Leone to the USA? Or where she would like to settle down, for that matter? As mentioned before, her and her family are welcome to stay at my estate in Northern New Jersey for awhile, until they can get settled elsewhere. I hear that Maine is a lovely place to settle down.

Mrs. Addo's offer of 20% of her funds is more than generous. Thank her for her kindness, and tell her I hope to be able to help her in every way possible.

As for my reconfirming my full names for your processing request, I will assume you will need my real name. Jeff Heimbuch is a pseudonym I go by, made up of my grandmother's maiden name, in order to protect myself in certain assets.

My given name is Jefferson T. Kalnoky III. That is the name in which my accounts are in.

I look forward to hearing from you again soon, and to helping Mrs. Addo with her late husband's finances.

Best,
Jefferson

 A raunchy remark AND a Rocky reference. This guy is obviously not immersed in the world of pop culture over there.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Fri, Mar 28, 2008 at 11:53 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I received your mail and I confirm receipt of your full names. I submitted your information to the officials of Mineral Resources Ministry and they assured contract documents will be procured tomorrow.

I will have copies of contract documents sent to you tomorrow being Saturday. I will also send to you contact details of Barclays when the contract documents are ready and I will advice you on how to contact Barclays.

Please for your information, I am working on travelling documents for Mrs. Rose Addo and her children and when these are ready, I will inform you and notify you of their travel schedule but for now, the travel agent informed me it will take him sometime to go through the procedures.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

Whoa, whoa, what?! Who is the Mineral Resource Ministry?! I was thinking this was getting fishy, so I thought I better ask about it...

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Fri, Mar 28, 2008 at 12:22 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

 

I have received your email, and glad you received my full names. We're both very good at receiving.

 

If you don't mind my asking, may I ask a question to ask you? What do the Mineral Resources Ministry have to do with all of this? I thought my names would be submitted for the approval of the Banco Banesto and Barclays London. Are the funds also in limbo between the two at the Mineral Resources Ministry? I must admit, I don't know much about minerals or elements, so I hope I don't need a knowledge of them to continue to help.

 

In any event, I'm glad the documents will be ready by tomorrow. I look forward to speaking to your contact at Barclays, so we may bring this matter of Mrs. Addo and her children to, much like a massage parlor, a happy ending!

 

Please do let me know of their travel arrangements when all is finalized. Did the travel agent happen to mention where they will be arriving too? Or is all that unknown at this point? Newark International Airport is probably the best place for their arrival, truth be told.

 

I look forward to hearing from you again, Dr. Jones.

 

- Jefferson Kalnoky

 His answer had better been sufficient, or I was calling the whole deal is off.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Sat, Mar 29, 2008 at 7:21 AM

Subject: Find Attached Documents

 

Dear Jeff,

I am pleased to inform you with this good news that we have successfully procured the contract documents which copies you will find attached. This process was not easy but I can say that the officials were dedicated and their assistance was great and without them it would have been impossible..

I was at the Ministry of Mineral Resources all through today were I observed this process and the official who assisted us did a good work and I met his terms by paying his fees. You will observe that the contract documents were back dated as agreed with the officials to conform with time funds were deposited with the finance institution by late Major John Addo.

The Ministry of Mineral Resources was used as a contracting Ministry for this purpose and their officials played a great role to assist us in procuring contract documents. We needed to give an impression that funds were proceeds of contracts since late Major John Addo being the depositor of funds had held a Ministerial portfolio under past regime.

Mrs. Rose Addo has sent a written instruction to Barclays London stating as facts that you were her late husbandís business associate and that funds which were deposited through Banco Banesto and later transferred to Barclays London as per instruction of her late husband indeed belonged to you and that funds are proceeds of payment made to you by Ministry of Mineral Resources Sierra Leone from contract awarded to you.

Find contact details of Barclays London below:

Bank: Barclays Bank London

Contact Name: David Robert

Designation: International Banking Dept.

Email: barclayslondon@mail.org

 

Please be directed as follows:

1.            Send a mail to Barclays London and inform David Roberts that Late Major John Addo was your business partner and had received the total sum of $20m on your behalf which he initially deposited with Banco Banesto Madrid Spain and at a later time transferred funds to Barclays London with an intention to wire funds to you.

2.            It is important that you attach copies of procured contract documents to David Roberts for on sight confirmation. It is important I inform that the officials here have assured me to respond favorably to any inquiry that may come in from Barclays London.

3.            You will direct David Robert to inform you with transfer modalities and other requirements his office will need you comply with.

4.            I advice you send me regular updates as we wait you to complete fund transfer and I will send you arrival schedule of Mrs. Rose Addo and her children when the travel agent delivers and your port of entry which you sent me is noted and will be considered by the travel agent.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

OK, that was good enough for me. These are the two documents he 'bribed' someone into 'forging' for this deal. Click for full size.

 

 

Totally real looking, right? No? OK, you're right. They are terrible. I hope he didn't pay much for them. Notice the sweet Clip Art-like borders? And how every line is a different text?  And the spacing is all off? And he literally put three number one's at the end of the name. That's hilarious. Man, he's not even trying!

 

Anyway, it was at this point that I decided to write to the 'banker' in London, to try to get those cash monies outta Africa and into my wallets.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclayslondon@mail.org

Date: Sun, Mar 30, 2008 at 4:53 PM

Subject: Attn: David Roberts

 

Dear Mr. David Roberts.
My name is Jefferson T. Kalnoky, III. It has come to my attention that you have some funds in your bank that rightfully belong in my pocket. You see, the Late Major John Addo was my business partner and had received the total sum of $20 million on my behalf, which he initially deposited with Banco Banesto in Madrid Spain, and at a later time transferred funds to Barclays London with an intention of wiring the funds to me. Unfortunately, Major Addo passed before he was able to do so, and said funds are now in limbo.
It has recently been brought to my attention that the funds were this way, and I would like to resolve this matter as soon as possible. I would like to ask you,  Mr. David Robert, to inform me with transfer modalities and other requirements your office will need me to comply with.
Attached are the documents that prove the transaction between Major Addo and myself for you to see. As you can see, they are infallible.
I will await to hear from you on this matter.
--
Jefferson T. Kalnoky III

I honestly believe that sarcasm is virtually undetectable over the Internet, because I REALLY lay it on, and they don't pick up on it and/or ignore the hell out of it.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Sun, Mar 30, 2008 at 4:53 PM

Subject: Re: Find Attached Documents

 

Dear Adrien,

I have mailed David Robertson, as per your request, and attached said documents. I am waiting word back from him on this matter. I will let you know of what he says as soon as he writes back to me.

Please let me know of Mrs. Addo's travel plans as soon as you know.

- Jefferson

I was beginning to lose steam at this point. I didn't think it was going to get any better.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 4:06 AM

Subject: Re: Find Attached Documents

 

Dear Jeff,

I am in receipt of your mail and will wait to receive further updates from you.

Adrein

I was totally wrong. I got this from the banker, from a very official looking e-mail address, and some more very official looking documents.  

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 7:48 AM

Subject: Advice

 

Dear sir

Please find attached documents and respond asap.

Best regards,

David Roberts.

Yet again, click to enlarge these bad boys.

 

Again, very real looking, no? I love how they literally do the bare minimum to make these 'passable.' How any moron falls for these, it's beyond me. Also, be sure to look over that bank letter carefully. It says that I can either go to their location in LONDON to do all of these paper work in person OR pay a $1100 fee to complete it all online. 

 

Aha! So THAT'S how they will scam me out of my money.

 

But I wasn't going to back down from that...

 

At this point, our pal Adrein was getting antsy, because he hadn't heard back from me yet...

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 3:50 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I will like to know if there is any update from Barclays London. I had earlier informed Mrs. Rose Addo that you had contacted Barclays London and was waiting to hear from them.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

I wondered if Adrein and Robert were two different people. Because if so, it was time to play them against each other. I wanted to make it look like one was trying to scam the other, and that I was going to scam them both. I just had to delay Adrein for a bit... 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 9:09 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrien,

 

I have been contacted by Mr. Roberts, who was kind enough to send along some documents. I have a friend of mine looking over them at the moment, and then will gladly fill out the correct paper work to send back to him.

 

I will inform you when I send them back to Barclays.

 

- Jefferson

 

PS - How is the weather there?

 He'll never answer the weather question, by the way. Then it was time to sweat the banker a bit...

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>,

Date: Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 9:14 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Dear Mr. Roberts

I have received your documents, and am looking them over now. I did not know that this required a trip to London to do this in person!

Luckily, I am actually going there in three weeks for a small trip with a friend. Perhaps we can arrange to meet so we can finish this manner in a timely fashion.

I will send over the documents later today after I finish reviewing them.

Best,

Jefferson

 No biggie...I just wanted them both to think I was having someone else look over the documents to confirm their authenticity, and that they had fooled BOTH of us. Those sly, clever, scammers. I also wanted them to make sure they knew I wasn't going to fall for the old "We need $1100 for processing trick." By telling him I would just HAPPEN to be in London anyway, and I could just stop by, I was hoping for him to start freaking out. But apparently, it didn't work!

 

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 9:45 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Dear Sir,

This is to confirm receipt of your email. We await your arrival in London within 3 weeks as you had mentioned. Please forward your flight schedule not later than 24hours prior to your arrival to enable us perfect arrangements for your transfer and as well make protocol arrangement to receive you upon your arrival. We however await receipt of the completed pre remittance form.

Best regards,

David Robert.

  By the way, I got this e-mail twice. He just wanted to make sure it got to me. Adrein got antsy again.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 2:30 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I am in receipt of your mail and note your comment on documents sent to you by David Roberts.

Though you did not send me a copy of the document that was sent to you, I suggest that you comply with Barclays and have the documents filled out and returned to David Roberts.

It will like you to inform me when David Roberts will effect wire transfer of funds to you. It is important you update me with date and information as I will inform the officials here who assisted us procure contract documents for back up should Barclays decide to contact their office to verify contract documents procured. The officials here have already assured us that they will respond favorably to any inquiry from Barclays London which is good.

So please have transfer date information sent to me to ensure I send information to the officials here accordingly.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

And yet again...boy, these guys are pushy. 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 6:50 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

Mrs. Rose Addo asked me to find out from you if you have filled out the form document sent to you by David Roberts of Barclays London.

It is important you complete the form and have it returned to David Roberts soon. I will like you to update me as soon as you have the form sent out to David Roberts. I also want to know when funds will be transferred by Barclays London.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

Time to start laying the seeds of discontent between the scammers. 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 6:55 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
The forms have been sent to Mr. Roberts as of last night. I am waiting to hear word back from him.
- Jefferson

I wanted him to think that the other guy already GOT all my information, and just wasn't sharing with him. Uh-oh! And he thought they were friends!

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 11:30 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I received your mail but you did not specify date for funds transfer.

It is important I receive this date. Mrs. Rose Addo has asked me to know transfer date and the officials here also need the date to stay at alert for any inquiry that may come in from Barclays London. I advice you send transfer date to me and if there are other notices from Barclays London I advice you let me know about it.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

Man, he really wants that transfer date, doesn't he? 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 11:39 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrien,

I did not send a transfer date because I am awaiting to hear word back from Barclay's in London. When I get here back from them, I will let you know.

Also, I am traveling to London in a few weeks. They gave me the option of visiting the bank itself to do this in person, as opposed to doing it online, and spending $1100. This should make the process much easier!

- Jefferson

 And now he knows that I'm 'going to be in London.' I wonder how pissed he is that his whole plan is falling apart.

 

Now was the time to actually send the form back to the 'bank.'

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

Date: Wed, Apr 2, 2008 at 12:05 PM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Dear David Robert,

Attached is a copy of the completed Pre Remittance Form. My personal banker, Richard Head, will be overseeing the process, and helped complete said form. You will find everything in good order. He is awaiting your contact at the number listed on the form.

Once the funds are transferred over into my account, they will be legally mine, correct? I fear that the widow of Mrs. Addo is trying to work against me, for she has learned of this transaction, and may try to get a hold of these funds, which she believes to be her own. She is, unfortunately, incorrect. As much as I feel for her loss, she has 'another thing coming' if she believes she can cheat my business out of its rightful due.

As for my arrival in London, I shall be flying Oceanic Airlines first class. My flight number is 815, and I shall be arriving on April 27th, 2008 at 11 AM your time. I should be able to come by your bank on April 28th, at a time that is convenient for you. Please let me know.

Thank you for your help.
- Jefferson

This is the completed form I sent back. It's full of movie and television references. Can you spot them all?! Click to enlarge.

 

 

Honestly, I wasn't expecting ANY type of response at this point. They HAD to know I was on to them. No one can possibly believe all the bullshit that I was slinging at them, right?

 

WRONG. The very next morning, I received this slightly frantic e-mail. 

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 5:33 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I am in receipt of your mail and note your comments. I observe certain procedure that is not recommendable and you must avoid it.

You already know details of how contract documents were procured here in Sierra Leone with the assistance of the officials attached to the Mineral Resources Ministry. You are also aware that the officials back dated the contract documents to suit us and avoid a situation were Barclays will verify source of funds.

It is imperative that I explain again to you that the reason we procured contract documents was to prove evidence that funds were source of contract payment made to you by the Ministry of Mineral Resources. You and I know that late Major John Addo was a cabinet member of the former regime were he served as a Minister and if indeed funds are traced to him, the authorities could decide a seizure status whereby funds will be confiscated by Barclays and returned to the authorities in Sierra Leone.

I discussed this issue in detail with the officials here and they advised that you must avoid any visit to Barclays London. The officials informed me that should you visit the office of Barclays, your presence will attract on spot verification claims before payment release is processed. The officials informed me that this will cause Barclays to verify contract documents claims and seek payment clearance from the authorities here in Sierra Leone before fund is transferred.

The officials here have strongly advised that you seek other option from Barclays that will allow Barclays the position to only send a wire inquiry to the office of Mineral Resources Ministry here in Sierra Leone and as they have assured us as senior officials with the Ministry, they will respond favorably to all inquiries from Barclays and that will give Barclays clearance to effect fund transfer.

This is the reason why I informed you its importance to inform me with updates. I advice we treat the advice of the officials with regards to avoid any problems.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

That's right...he doesn't want me to show up at the bank to mess up this transaction because it could lead the funds right back to Major Addo. Oh, and also, because NONE OF THIS IS REAL. Man, he's a sly dog. He was upping the stakes quite a bit at this point, so now it was my turn to go all in. Care to see how ridiculous I can get in my requests?

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 11:08 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

 

I understand your concerns, and they are duly noted. I understand that the contracts were back dated in order for this transaction to work correctly, and if said funds were traced back to Major Addo that there could be a problem.

 

However, I assumed that doing this transaction in person would help alleviate some of the suspicions that the bank may have. I don't want them to think that I'm a sort of person that would rather not personally over see the transfer of the money, and just trust it all goes well.

 

However, your comments are correct, and I do agree with you. It would probably be for the best if we do this entire transaction online, and I trust their actions go well.

 

I do, however, have a minor concern before we move forward with this. I was speaking to Richard Head again late last night and just a few minutes ago after receiving your email, who is a close personal friend, and aside from being my banker, heads his own company on the side called "Forever," and he informed me that there were many automated robot machines out there that people have programmed to write emails to try to swindle money out of folks.

 

I told him that that was ridiculous, and that I absolutely trusted you. However, he suggested that I gained some sort of photographic proof that you are who you say you are, just to ease his concerns. If you would be willing to comply to take a photograph of yourself in front of your office, holding a sign that reads "Jefferson and Adrein" and then place the name of his company, Forever, underneath our names, he would rest easy knowing that you are a real person. He asked that you write such things on the sign, just so he knows that it is you, and not just some random photograph that you got off of the Internet.

 

I know, this sounds outlandish, but he refuses to issue me a check for the $1100 to complete this transaction unless he receives this proof. He is one of those men who, once they get an idea in their heads, refuses to be reasoned with. He's standing his ground on this, and unfortunately, I have to comply with his wishes.

 

So, again, if you would be so kind to comply with his request, I would be most grateful. Again, this will undoubtedly prove to him that you are a real person, and not just an email writing robot, and then we can continue on with our business as scheduled, and get Mrs. Addo what is rightfully hers.

 

Thank you for your understanding, Dr. Jones. I will wait to hear from you.

 

- Jefferson

If I actually get such a picture, I think that will literally be the highlight of my entire life. That would be hilarious. Man, I hope he complies with Richard Heads' request, and I find that in my Inbox tomorrow morning.

 

Also, around the time I sent the above e-mail to Adrein Jones, I received a message from a NEW player. We'll put his stuff in BOLD AND ITALICS so you'll know he's a different person.

 

From: jidabil <jidabil_house@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 10:09 AM

Subject: Investment Inquiry

 

Sir,
My name is Adrein Jones of Summit Medicals based in Freetown, Sierra Leone.
I saw your listing in the site (www.triggerstreet.com) and I was impressed, hence my resolve to contact you for a business Investment.
I will wait to receive your response and will forward to you details of my investment proposal and also inform you of your remuneration in participation.
Please for further correspondence regarding Investment, I will request you send me a mail via my email: sijonesmich@yahoo.com
Regards,
Adrein

 What's this?! Different e-mail address...BUT THE SAME NAME?! How can this be?! These scammers aren't too smart, are they? For their sake, I hoped they didn't realize that they e-mailed me this scam TWICE, so I decided to respond according.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: jidabil <jidabil_house@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 11:09 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Sir,

I am interested in your business proposal. Please send me all incurring details.

Regards,

Oswald Cobblepot  

Now we jump back to our original friend, Adrein #1. It looks as if he and Mrs. Addo aren't too happy with our request. This one is a doozy, folks...

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 5:22 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry  

 

Dear Jeff,

I just received this ridiculous mail from you and I am dismayed at your request and your regard for my person or were you merely joking. I am embarrassed that you question my integrity with reckless abandon and seem to ridicule my reputation which I have worked hard to build over the years.

I have discussed this issue with Mrs. Rose Addo and I informed her that I do not know of any Richard and have not heard of his name before since I have been discussing with you. Permit me say here that you have acted on your own by bringing in a third party by name Richard without informing us and you found it difficult to decently seek my permission to do so. I exonerate myself from the way you are going about this which implies that you are exposing fund information and this may expose certain things I have done here which can bring problems for us.

I want to inform you that you have brought suspicion by your action and I fear that we are been set up with an objective to forfeit funds. You are aware of all that I did here in Sierra Leone to procure contract documents from the Ministry of Mineral Resources and you should know its implication if information leaks out and yet you went as far as bringing in a third party without being sure if he is an agent or sort for the authorities and I donít care if you think he is your friend because that is no precise guarantee.

You have betrayed that trust but you have left us with no much choice either. It has become dangerous to continue with Barclays London as we must ensure safety of funds by avoiding anything that will lead to its confiscation. Mrs. Rose Addo informed me why and how her late husband in the first place decided to make fund deposits through Madrid Spain and later ended up with Barclays though he did not conclude his account formalities with Barclays London before his demise which is the gap that we are exploiting now..

It is important I inform you that the reason late Major John Addo went through Madrid Spain to make fund deposit initially was due to the countryís weak financial regulations. It was safe for him to make fund deposit without much verification from Madrid Spain as their regulatory bodies are weak and accepted what he presented to them as funds belonging to his business associate. Late Major John Addo felt that going through Madrid was ideal and his idea of Barclays was to guarantee safety of funds because of the strong monetary policies of the United Kingdom.

We will have no option than to request Barclays London to revert all transfer details back to Banco Banesto Madrid Spain for obvious reasons. This I have advised Mrs. Rose Addo to have a written wire instruction sent to David Roberts of Barclays London later today. I will also advice that you on your part should send a request to David Roberts of your preference to oblige the submission of Mrs. Rose Addo to revert fund transfer details back to their corresponding bank Banco Banesto Madrid Spain. I advice you donít give them much reason so that they donít become suspicious.

The implication of this request is that you can travel to Madrid Spain were you will meet the officials of Banco Banesto and have fund transfer wired safely from there. It is safer since Madrid Spain has weak monetary regulation. Banco Banesto Spain will make only standard verification of your personal identification as submitted by Barclays as they initially did when late Major John Addo deposited funds with their office and that will be enough and I think it is safer that way. This implies that you will travel to Madrid Spain at a time that Banco Banesto will contact you and approve an appointment date for you. I expect this will bring to an end the ridicule you started and I want to advice you that though I have taken this insult in my stride, you must avoid a situation you strain your future business relationship with Mrs. Rose Addo lest you blame me for it.

I advice you send in an approval to David Robert confirming your preference with submission of Mrs. Addo to revert fund transfer details to Banco Banesto Spain. David Robert will then advice us when his office effects this request and Banco Banesto will contact you accordingly.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

Yet again, I received this email from him twice, in the span of ten minutes. So it seems as if he has figured out a way of getting out of the me visiting London bit. Too bad I have an ace up my sleeve, and subtlety threaten to expose his ruse. Also, I make a heart felt confession to my new found African friend. 

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 6:13 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry  

 

Adrein,

I meant no disrespect to you are your reputation, my friend. I wish to, yet again, explain that it was not I who questions your authenticity in this matter. Allow me to explain in further detail...

If you go back to my email dated April 1st, 2008, you will see that I had already mentioned that a friend of mine was going over the documents you sent me, and I would send them to the bank as soon as possible. Though I did not mention this friend by name, it was Richard Head.

I resent the fact that you seem unsure that he is not necessarily my friend, and believe him to be an agent of the government. Perhaps you think he is merely posing as my friend? I am appalled that you think I would keep such company. Richard has been a very near and dear friend to me for well on 25 years. We grew up together, and are practically brothers. Our families have also been close for years. He has remained my friend, my confidant, and other things over the years.

It is time for truths, Dr. Jones. I will admit to you what I dare not even admit to my family, for fear of ridicule. Richard is not merely just a close friend, but he is also my lover. We have carried on a relationship for 10 of our 25 years of friendship.

Please believe me that I trust him inexplicably, and do not wish to strain my relationship with him. He wants only the best for me, and would never betray what we have. He is only looking out for me. When he suggested that I get that photographic evidence, I was complying with his wishes  so as to not strain our relationship. And again, he would not allow me a check for the transaction until he received said proof. That is the only reason I asked.

If Mrs. Addo has written said letter to request the revokement of the funds already, then I am truly sorry. I hope, however, that this is not the case. Wouldn't her, writing that personal request to Barclays as you said, reveal her position in all of this, and thus revealing to her government what exactly is going on? In fact, I believe doing that is being more dangerous and risky than me bringing a lover and confidant into the mix.

I believe if I DO write this request to comply with Mrs. Addo to Barclays, they will become suspicious as well. I have already formally submitted my original request to them in writing, and filled out all of the proper paperwork for this large sum of money. But revoking this but a few days later will surely raise some eyebrows amongst the higher brass of the bank, and they will surely investigate it further. This would effectively expose your plans, and ruin Mrs. Addo's future in America.

While in London with Richard, we have absolutely no plans to visit Spain. We are in London to see some of his family, and our schedule simply does not allow any time for any side excursions (expect those inside the hotel room). I will not be able to make the trip to Spain for this matter, especially at such short notice.

I will not write to Mr. Robert yet. Instead, I hope you will listen to reason, and go along with the plan as originally intended. Backing out now is very risky, as we are already, as they say, 'balls deep.' Backing out at this juncture will surely raise some suspicions among the Barclays Banking Staff, and might very will expose our plans.

I suggest you talk this matter over with Mrs. Addo and weigh your options. We are already at a critical juncture, and I suggest we continue along the path we have set out. If you do decided to continue the path we have originally chosen, then great. I would look forward to a smooth transaction. I beg of you to choose this option, and send me the photographic proof that Richard requires. I know for a fact that the check has already been made out. It's sitting in his locked desk drawer that I have no access too. I desperately wish to send this check to Barclays so we can conclude this matter, and help Mrs. Addo along on her new life. If not, then I'm not sure where we go from there. Again, I cannot make it to Spain, and I am already in your plan, and know of your deceits. I have no wish to expose them in any way. Again, I had no wish to ridicule yourself or come off outlandish in any way. I am merely trying to protect my assets.

I will wait to hear from you.

- Jefferson

In case you can't tell, I want that picture, god damn it! I hope he complies, because I honestly have no idea where the hell this is going at this point...

 

So here I am, a day later, and I feel that we are getting closer to our goal, as per this e-mail:

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 4, 2008 6:27 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I am in receipt of your mail and sincerely yours, I am truly touched by your story about you and Richard. I donít know what else to say you have just made a self confession to me.

Mrs. Rose Addo has not written any instruction to Barclays London and I have advised her to stop any action on such instruction. I will take this to mean that we have avoided what could have been a big disagreement which would have destroyed our relationship. It is obvious that Barclays would have been suspicious if the instruction was issued by Mrs. Rose Addo to revert funds to Madrid Spain.

I have taken the pictures like you said and I expect it to be ready in few hours. The reason I had to take the pictures is that you came out low to tell me your long life secret between you and Richard and I know it is not easy for you and you did it in pains. The pictures will be ready soon and I will have copies sent to you when I receive same from photographer.

You should understand the fact that I am advanced in age and I am not a young person. It therefore is very embarrassing that my hard earned reputation and integrity is brought into question and my standing ridiculed. I have taken this in my stride like I earlier said but please ensure that this nonsense of distrust does not happen again and you should put a stop to it.

It is important you inform Richard since he is now involved that on no account should he expose all what we have done with the officials here to procure contract documents from the Ministry of Mineral Resources. This is top secret and if it leaks, I fear that the consequences will be so much.

I will have the pictures sent to you and I advice you contact David Roberts and inform him that you will not be able to arrive London and seek alternative option to fund transfer which is safer for us.

Adrein

Wow...really? Can this really be about to become a reality?! There's no way in hell that he is that stupid. He didn't actually TAKE the pictures, did he? Here's my response:

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 4, 2008 8:11 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry  

 

Adrein,

 

Thank you very much for your understanding and your kind words. I appreciate it very much so.

 

I'm glad you informed Mrs. Addo to not write any instructions, and that we were able to avoid any such disagreement. I thank you for your understanding and actions in this matter. I also appreciate the fact that you went out of your way to fulfill Richard's request. The joy I feel from that overshadows any such pain I once had in admitting to you my secret.

 

Again, I apologize for this distrustment on our behalf. I meant no disrespect by it, and am sincerely and truly sorry for it. I am just glad you understand where we are coming from.

 

No need to worry about Richard. He is a kind and thoughtful man, and will not, under any circumstance, reveal to anyone the plans we have laid forth. It will continue to remain top secret plans, and we will keep it as such.

 

I will email David Roberts very soon to inform him that I will no longer be able to make it to London. I will await to hear from you, and to see the pictures to send along to Richard.

 

Thank you again for your understanding, and hope to hear from you soon.

 

- Jefferson

In the meantime, while waiting for the comedy gold to arrive, I decided to take dear Adrein's advice, and write to Barclays Bank in London, England, to inform them that I would not be able to make it there after all. Yet again, references to pop culture abound.

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

Date: Apr 4, 2008 8:14 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Dear Mr. Robert,

I have not heard from you in a few days, so I assume all is well.

There is one small snag, however. The airline I was supposed to be flying to London on has recently went bankrupt, over lawsuits stemming from 2004 about an plane crash somewhere in the Pacific, along the Sunda Trench. Unfortunately, they have closed their doors, and I cannot get a replacement flight in time that suits me. I will not be able to come in in person, and would prefer to use the online method you mentioned earlier. Thank you for your understanding.

- Jefferson T. Kalnoky III 

 So then I sat. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. OK, so I waited for like 45 minutes. And THEN...the Holy Grail arrived in my Inbox.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 4, 2008 9:06 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I have received the pictures from the photographer as you will find attached pictures.

This is somewhat humiliating but I have done it for our collective good and I cannot imagine that at my age, I will have to do this to gain your trust. I want to advice you strictly that this issue of distrust must stop. You can have the copies sent to Richard and I advice that my pictures should not be exposed for security reasons.

I will advice you contact David Roberts and inform him you will not be arriving London for health reasons. I would not want to over emphasize the issue of risk as I have mentioned severally that you update me with information from David Robert so that I can advice you rightly based on what we have done.

I can assure you that Barclays cannot subject you to scrutiny and detailed verification of all facts without your presence. The United Kingdom is good at strict compliance of financial policies and their financial regulatory body is highly efficient so we must allow them to use only wire verification which the officials here at the Ministry of Mineral Resources have assured us they will respond favorably to.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, the one and only Dr. Adrein Jones, holding a sign, outside of his office(s), bearing both our names, Jefferson and Adrein, and the name of Richard's company, Forever.

 

 

 

 

Holy...mother...of...god. 

 

I can't believe I actually got him to do that. I was at work when I received these photos, and I literally had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard. My stomach hurt because I couldn't breath. 

 

That's it. I honestly have no way of topping that at this point. Anything else that is said or done between myself and Adrein will not come NEAR this pinnacle. 

 

It's unbelievable that this actually happened. I laugh just THINKING about him, standing outside some random building, holding this ridiculous sign. 

 

Honestly, I'm going to have to figure out a way to get him on the phone, and record the conversation. That's really the only way this can get better...Hey, that's not a bad idea...

 

Anyway, at this point, David Robert from the bank emailed me back:

 

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 4, 2008 1:14 PM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Attn:Jefferson T Kalnoky

Sir,

We are in receipt of your email. As you were earlier advised, the second option available is the use of our legal department to endorse on the payment documents on your behalf and consequently procure an affidavit of fund ownership from the court in your favor to facilitate your transfer. As you were meant to understand, this option will attract a minimal document procurement and endorsement fee of one thousand one hundred British pounds sterling only (GBP1100).We will send you payment directives by Monday, in order to transfer the funds to the head of our legal department MR LAWRENCE DICKINSON to commence with this process. Please forward immediately a written authorization legally giving the Barclays Bank Legal Department the full right to endorse on your payment document and as well procure an affidavit of ownership of funds on your behalf. This letter is required for record purposes.

We will have your transfer completed within 48hours on completion of this process and procurement of the affidavit of fund ownership from the court.

We will keep you advised.

Thank you,

David Robert.

 I figured at this point, I'd let Adrein tell me what to say to the bank. I think he deserves to tell me what to do at this point. I mean, honestly. Those pictures...they KILL me.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 4, 2008 2:26 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry  

 

Adrein,

 

I want to thank you so very much for complying to Richard's ridiculous request and sending me photos. Again, I want to state that I myself trust you, and these are merely for Richard's verification. The issue of distrust will stop immediately, as I have send said photographs to Richard. They will go no further than that. I assure you that no one else will ever see these.

 

I also would like to mention that you are not as old as you make yourself out to be. A man of your looks and stature would be quite a catch for those in my social circle!

 

Before receiving your photos, I had written to David Roberts and told him I would not be able to arrive in London. He emailed me back, and asked that I send him a written request stating that I would like to use the second option of using their legal department to carry on this process. I would like you to advise me on anything specific that I should write back to him on this manner.

 

I am very happy that the use of wire transfers will allow this deception to continue, and we can carry on with our business without scrutiny.

 

Again, thank you for sending me those photographs. I assure you that we can carry on into the sunset happily from here.

 

I will await to hear from you.

 

- Jefferson  

I was getting new ideas from some friends as to wait the ultimate endgame to this should be while awaiting to receive word back from Dr. Jones.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 5, 2008 at 4:28 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I am in receipt of your mail and I am glad you regard me younger than my age but then I am advanced in age and thatís the reality.

I am to understand from your mail that you have already written David Roberts and he has asked you to send him a written request that you will prefer their legal department endorse this process on your behalf.

If this is the case, then it is good for us and I advice that you send a mail to David Roberts requesting that the legal department of Barclays London should make representation and other endorsement on your behalf. When you send in this request to David Roberts please let me know as I will update Mrs. Rose Addo accordingly.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

 I took his advice, and sent an email back to Barclays, with a bit of self promotion to boot.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

Date: Apr 6, 2008 at 9:46 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Dear David Robert,
Thank you for your timely response. I must apologize for my delayed email, for I was off tramping through the woods in search of a mythological creature...
No, no, I kid, I kid. I was at the premiere for a new film about a local legend called The Jersey Devil. Perhaps you'd like to see it for yourself sometime? You can view the trailer for this film at www.myspace.com/leedspoint.
In any event, I would like the legal department of Barclays London to make representation and other endorsements on my behalf.
I look forward to seeing your payment directives, so we can conclude this manner in a timely...manner.
Thank you.
Jefferson T. Kalnoky III

Then, another was sent back to Adrein.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 6, 2008 at 9:54 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

Richard is in receipt of your photos, and he thanks you for taking them. He now believes you to be a real person, and will allow me to go through with the transaction. I told him that this whole matter could have been avoided with a Google web search on your name to prove your identity.

For example, we came across this website, http://www.travelersfortraveler s.com/members/Sierra%20Leone /Freetown, and your name is the third one down. That undoubtedly, to me at least, proves your identity. Also, it made me realize that you are a world traveler, and a more sophisticated man than I originally realized. If you ever come to the states, we should go out for some drinks, myself, Richard, and you, where we can laugh about this matter in good spirits and drunken abandonment, morals be damned!

In any event, I was out most of the day yesterday, at the premiere of a new film (do you enjoy movies? Perhaps after that drink, we can go to one!), so I did not get a chance to send that email to Barclays until just now. David Roberts has assured me that he will send me the correct documents on Monday, so we can bring this matter to a timely end.

I will wait to hear from you, love.

- Jefferson

Oh, and by the way, yes that website I sent about him is real. In fact, due to the fine work by the folks over at Skachilles, we now know that there are quite a FEW sites about Adrein Jones:

 

http://scamdex.com/Scam_Archive/S/Scam_28Oct062313.php

 

http://www.1stworldtradeportal.com/default.cgi/action/viewcompanies/companyid/148847/

 

http://www.worldbid.com/tradeleads/details.htm?session=&searchwords=&latest=&country=&stars=&all=1&bodies=&subcat=6&bidID=1760467&type=Buy&m=0

 

http://www.twaynet.com/trade/C556159616TK4.htm

 

http://www.everymachinery.com/em-adjones/home.aspx

 

http://club.t-p-i.net/index.php?page=info&id=582

 

So, not only is he a medical doctor, but he's also a vet, investing in Agriculture, satellites for space, AND he looks 10 years younger in the photograph on that last page. Wow!

 

Anyways, the saga continues...

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 7, 2008 4:14 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I am glad to hear that David Roberts will send you correct documents on Monday though you did not inform me what the documents are for.

I saw the site you stated and I want to inform you not to be worried as I have put any misunderstanding behind me. I have also explained to Mrs. Rose Addo about Richards and she has given her acceptance on it which I have always regarded as being very important that she accepts Richard.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

Again, this email was sent to me twice. Are you beginning to see a pattern here? 

 

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 7, 2008 7:54 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Attn:Jefferson T Kalnoky111

Sir,

This is to confirm receipt of your email. As a matter of urgency, use of western union money transfer is advised in settlement of such minimal charges. We therefore advise that the payment of GBP1100 document endorsement charge be made via western union money transfer in favor of Mr. Lawrence Dickinson of our legal department.

NAME: LAWRENCE DICKINSON

COUNTRY: LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM.

Please have western union details forwarded to us via email to enable receive the money immediately. The information needed to receive the money include, sender name and address, money transfer control number (MTCN) and exact amount sent. On receipt of the money our legal department will immediately endorse on your payment documents and consequently procure your affidavit of fund ownership from the court to facilitate your fund transfer. Entire process will be completed within 24 hours after which we will execute immediate transfer of funds to your nominated account.

We advise you prompt response.

Regards,

David Robert.

N/b: Please forward requested authorization for our receords.

Again, two times. I actually wonder if Lawrence Dickinson is a real person in London. If so, we'll have to find him, and send fake packages to his house filled with chicken bones. He's probably not real, though.

 

I was beginning to get swamped at work at this point, and did not respond to their wily demands right away, so they decided to wait a few hours before firing off another email to me. 

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 8, 2008 4:49 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

You informed me that David Roberts was going to  contact you yesterday being Monday. I need to know if he has contacted you and if so what his response is.

II will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

Someone's getting a little pushy, eh?! They can't wait for that money!

 

Also, Barclays 'accidently' sent me this email, claiming it was for someone else. I think they just wanted me to see that 'you can sue us' part.

 

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 8, 2008 7:39 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Sir,

In response to your email, be advised that we do not deliberately intend to delay this transaction. We have clearly informed you that we cannot transfer your interest payment without receiving our due handling fee of Ä2100.  It will definitely not be to your advantage to intentionally delay the transfer of your funds as a result of not being able to settle the applicable handling charge.  No matter how long you try to delay this transfer, the applicable handling charge must be received before transfer is executed in line with the Barclays Bank transfer procedure. Rather than facilitate the transfer, such delays may attract some form of penalty if proper measure to conclude the transaction urgently is not taken.   We wish to state here that if we fail to release your full interest payment to your account within 3 hours after our handling fee is received, you have the full right to use legal action against us to recover your money. Be rest assured that your transfer will be wired immediately this handling fee is received. If there are any more request for money after this payment, you can petition us immediately for a refund of all the money you had spent in the course of this project.

Please avoid any further delays.

Regards,

David Robert

Minutes later, I get this one, correcting their 'mistake.' 

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 8, 2008 7:44 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Attn:Jefferson  T Kalnoky

Sir,                                             

We are still waiting to receive the requested document endorsement fee of GBP1100 to enable our legal department conclude the process in order for us to execute final transfer of funds to your account.

We advise your prompt response.

Regards,

David Robert.

n/b:an email was sent to you in error,please disregard it. That email was meant for another customer of the barclays bank.

Still bombarded at work, so only a short email back to him, filled with blatant errors about the British monetary system.

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>,

Date: Apr 8, 2008 8:33 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Dear David Robert,

I just received said email, and thank you for letting me know it was for another customer. I was awfully confused.

Sorry for my delay in response, I had a mini crisis this past weekend.

In regards to our matter, I have procured a check for 1100 lbs that I would like to send to you. Please advise to me any address to send it to, so you may receive said funds, and we can begin the transfer of the account funds.

If a check is not suitable, I will be happy to send you a Money Order through the mail as well.
- Jefferson

  However, Adrein, being a dear friend of mine, deserved a little more than a short email. So, he gets another pop culture ridden one.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 8, 2008 8:45 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
Sorry for my delay, my dear friend. What a terror yesterday was. Would
you like to know what happened? Now, this is a story all about how, my
life got flipped, turned upside down. And I liked to take a minute, so
just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town
called...oh, never mind. It doesn't matter where.
Regardless, there was a couple of guys who were up to no good, they
started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight,
and Richard got scared...
In any event, long story short, soup to nuts, Richard tried to protect
me, and got into a much larger fight, and wound up in the hospital. He
has broken ribs, black eyes, ruptured spleen, punctured lung,
conjunctivitis, tooth decay, BO, and many other horrible symptoms
from this terrible event.
So, sorry that I am not up to date on my emailing. I just was able to
get to the computer right now.
In any event, David Robert was supposed to send me transfer documents
yesterday, but did not. Instead, he would prefer me to send the 1100
Lbs first, in payment for the transfer transaction. I told him I'm
sorry for the delay, and that I have a check for him, but would gladly
get a money order to send if that's what they prefer. I am awaiting
word back from him.
Also, their email system must be crossed, for I received an email
geared toward another customer. They should be careful that they don't
accidentally reveal vital bank information to unsavory eyes!
Regardless, I am awaiting word back from him, and shall let you know
what he says as soon as he says it.
Now, back off to the hospital. I don't know this, but in West
Philadelphia, I was born and raised, and on the playground I spent
most of my days. They have a great hospital there that I trust very
dearly, so that's where we brought Richard. I shall bring my laptop,
just in case I hear from Barclays there.
Cheers,
Jefferson

 They don't get Fresh Prince in Sierra Leone?! Guess not.

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 8, 2008 11:14 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

The important advice that I will give at this point in time is that you comply with David Roberts directives. I am sorry to hear about Richard and please convey my sympathy to him.

We must avoid anything that will make David Roberts suspicious and for this, you have to respond to his request accordingly. It is advisable that we donít cause Barclays London any delay in transferring funds and whatever their request be, in our interest then we have to oblige to avoid any situation arising.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

 Either they don't get it, or he just flat out ignored it. What a money grubbing whore.

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 8, 2008 1:31 PM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Attn: Jefferson T Kalnoky111

Sir,

We had earlier advised that the funds be sent via western union money transfer which is the fastest and most acceptable means of receiving such charges. We will not accept checks or money order. This payment must be received in cash since itís purpose is for settlement of the court affidavit charges. The Barclays bank is not a direct beneficiary of the payment. Our legal department is only trying to be of assistance by endorsing on your payment documents and consequently assist in procuring your affidavit of fund ownership to facilitate a smooth conclusion of your transfer. The reason our legal department got involved was due to your inability to arrive London for the signing of the document as earlier scheduled, hence our decision to assist you in order to ensure a successful completion of your transfer. As earlier directed the funds should be sent via western union money transfer in favor of MR LAWRENCE DICKINSON of our legal department after which you should have the western union transfer information forwarded to us by email.

We advise your strict compliance to enable us serve you better.

Best regards,

David Robert.

 I was getting tired of David Robert at this point. He wasn't any fun. So I decided to make it fun...

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>,

Date: Apr 8, 2008 2:36 PM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Dear David Roberts Sir,
I have read your email, and I understand. I went to this Western
Unions website that you spoke of, to try to send said cash over the
Internets. However, after a few short minutes, I realized my computer
was just not accepting my dollar bills. They were a bit crinkled, so I
tried to smooth them out a bit, but still, the computer continued to
spit them out. See attached photos for my dilemma! 
Then, the website asked me to enter a Credit and/or Debit card number
to transfer the cash. Unfortunately, sir, I own neither of these two.
I prefer to carry around huge wads of cash in my pockets, as for me,
it is the easier means of money transfer.
Is there another way to send this money without using said cards? Is
there some sort of centralized place that Western Union has that I can
go too, give them the cash moneys, and they can give me the
appropriate transfer numbers to give to you, so you may receive said
money, and then we can continue on with our transaction?
I will wait to hear from you.

- Jefferson

 Attached to this email, I included this photo. Click to enlarge:

 

 

Come on, that's hilarious, ain't it? Surely he can't let that one go. He's gotta see that I'm messing with him now, right?

 

Also, for your enjoyment, here are the other three photos I took of me doing the same thing before I ultimately decided on the one above:

 

 

 

 

Yes, this is how I spend the time that I should be working. 

 

Back to Adrein!

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 8, 2008 4:45 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I discussed with Mrs. Rose Addo and she wanted to know the date fund will be transferred by Barclays.

I informed Mrs. Rose Addo that you were in touch with David Roberts and from the information you sent me, I expect funds will be transferred soon.

I was also with the officials of the Ministry of Mineral Resources today and they assured me that they are at alert and should their office receive any inquiry from Barclays, they will respond favorably to it and they also reassured us that they will protect our interest here and they advised that our problem should be with Barclays London and not their office.

I assured the officials here that we are complying with the directives of Barclays London and from the information I have received from you on the response of David Roberts so far, we will have a smooth fund transfer process. I informed Mrs. Rose Addo that we have not defaulted in any way with Barclays London and from the information I have from you, you are responding well with David Roberts which is very good for us and transfer process.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

Great! Glad he's eagerly awaiting my money!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 8, 2008 9:03 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
I'm glad you're on top of things! I know I won't be for awhile, at
least, with Richard still in the hospital.
I have sent another message along to David Roberts to receive further
instructions from him about the Westernized Union money transfer, and
will hopefully hear back from him soon.
I will send you any and all information and messages I get back from him
- Jefferson

Subtle gay reference in there, which most people probably won't get. Including Adrein. Oh well. 

 

Oh, look an email from the bank! Are they on to me yet?!

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 9, 2008 8:16 AM

Subject: Information

 

Attn: Jefferson T Kalnoky111

Sir,

Western union has agents all around the city. You may be able to locate the agent closest to you through the internet otherwise you can go to the post office (courier office) for some assistance. Here in London, post offices offer western union services; I suppose it will be same in your country. I advise you go to the closest post office you have and inquire from them or find out from any bank around you if they offer western union services or direction to the closest western union location. They will direct you to the closest western union office or agent where you can send out the money in cash. Please find below western union offices located in NJ.You can use any of them for the transfer.

 

1. PRICE RITE ELECTRONICS

411 QUAKERBRIDGE RD UNTI 2 LAWRENCE VILLE NEW JERSEY 08648

TEL6092753655

 

2. UNITED CHECK CASHING

1469 NOTHINGHAM WAY, TRENTON NEWJERSEY 08609

TEL: 6096310940

 

3. RICE AND SPICES

570 LAWRENCE SQUARE BLVD, LAWREENCE VILLE NJ, 08648

TEL6095877423

 

Do not hesitate to contact me with the western union information as soon as the money is sent out.

Best regards,

David Robert.

Of course not! Why would they be?! Instead, they went through the trouble of looking up Western Union locations for me! How thoughtful! 

 

Nothing phases these guys. They just want my money. All 1100 Llbs of it. Get it? Lbs?! Come on, what, are they blind?! They can't tell how I'm obviously messing up words, just so they call me out on it?!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>,

Date: Apr 9, 2008 10:54 AM

Subject: Re: Information

Dear Sir,
I have taken in your email with all of my being. I have downloaded and
saved the valuable information you have passed along, and will use it
in my quest for an Westernized Union Broker.
I am currently at the hospital with my friend, but I shall venture out
soon into the untamed wilds to complete this money transaction.
If I am to assume correctly, I can go to one of these agents, hand
them over the equal equivalent of US dollars that correctly converts
into 1100 British Lbs, and then will give me some sort of slip that
says how someone can access this money online? I will tell them the
name of your man, Lawrence Dickinson, and they will put it in his
name. Then your man will go to your local bureau of this Westernized
Union, state his name, and then receive these cash prizes that I have
sent to him over the Internet. Is all of this correct?
I will be heading out in a few hours to do this, so hopefully I will
hear back from you before I go.
- Jefferson

 Maybe I can get the banker guy to send me a picture too. I'm practically getting away with murder with the emails I've been sending him.

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 9, 2008 10:57 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
Mr. Roberts has sent me invaluable advice on how to obtain a
Westernized union money transfer, and even provided locations in NJ
that I can find them at. What service! It's almost as if he can't wait
to get his hands on this money and help us complete this transaction!
I will be going out today to get this transfer underway, so expect to
hear back from me at some point later.
- Jefferson

 A truer statement than the one written above, about him getting his hands on my money, has never been made.

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 9, 2008 at 12:36 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I am glad to hear that David Roberts sent you the information you need for the western union money transfer.

His services like you said are most invaluable and i also appreciate the fact that you have a good understanding with him which will help a lot in our transfer. David Roberts at his level in the financial sector should have had long years of working experience which he will bring along with a lot of financial knowledge.

I will inform Mrs. Rose Addo with the details you have sent me and I will inform her to expect transfer to happen soon.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

 And putting off the money transfer for yet another day...

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 9, 2008 at 5:29 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Adrein,
There was problem with Richard today, and I could not leave his bed
side. I will make it of the upmost importance to take care of this
matter tomorrow morning. I already have directions and everything. I
called, and made an appointment with someone there for 11 AM, so we
may conclude this. Details to follow.
- Jefferson

Yet again, I was trying to formulate where this was going. It was decided that I absolutely HAD to get this guy on the phone some how, but I needed a good reason why...

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 10, 2008 at 3:55 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I will wait to hear from you, I will inform Mrs. Rose Addo that you are working on the western union and will have it done today. It is important we get this done so that we can concentrate on Investments.

Adrein

 He's about to get pushy again, since I don't answer him right away.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 11, 2008 at 4:36 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

It is important you inform me the date transfer will take place. Mrs. Rose Addo was asking me if you have settled the western union with Barclays London.

I need to know this information as I will have to report back to Mrs. Rose Addo accordingly. I advice you ask David Roberts the date funds will be transferred to enable me update Mrs. Rose Addo.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

 And again, because, I was busy at work AND Six Flags Great Adventure just opened. I had to go on the roller coasters, god damn it!

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 12, 2008 at 3:51 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Jeff,

I have written you twice to know transfer status and I am surprised that you have not responded to my mails.

I want to advice that you urgently email me with updates. You should know that Mrs. Rose Addo ordinarily is worried and has consistently requested I ascertain from you when David Roberts will transfer funds and this date means so much to her.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

 Now I knew I had to respond, otherwise he might forget about me altogether, and get someone else to help him transfer the $20 Million! I finally decided to play a new card, to try to convince him I needed him on the phone...

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 13, 2008 at 9:20 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Dear Sir Adrein,

Please forgive our lack of communication on this end.

My name is Richard Head. I am sure you have heard of me from Jefferson
before. As you may already know, I was in the hospital for a few days
after an altercation with some teenage hoodlums in my neighborhood.
The day I was to leave, Jefferson was told me he had to get to Western
Union to send the cash money to Barclays Bank. He left the hospital
that morning, determined to get it done that day.

Unfortunately, as he was leaving the hospital, a crazy taxi driver
drove by, speed around the corner, and struck Jefferson. Though he is
alive, he is currently in ICU traction, and in a slight coma. They
expect him to make a full recover in a few years, but he will be stuck
in painful rehab for a good number of months before that.

Due to this aliment, Jefferson is no longer able to carry out the
transaction. I, however, wish to carry on in his steed, and finish
this deal. I know all of these documents are in his name, and I wish
to be able to continue the deal out that way. Would it be possible for
me to pose as Jefferson when getting the money to Western Union, so we
may finish this matter?

Also, if at all possible, I would like to call and talk to you about
some things with Jefferson, and how you would like Mrs. Addo's money
invested when we do receive it.

I hope to hear from you soon,

Dick

I figured that I could extend the end game a bit by taking Jefferson out of the picture for a little while. Didn't know if I could pull it off or not.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 14, 2008 at 3:49 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

You can pose as Jeff but it is important you send out the western union immediately without further delay so that Barclays London can process transfer.

I am sorry to hear about Jeff and please send my heart felt sympathy to him.

Adrein

Guess so! Man, I'm really glad these guys are going along with these. They must really want that money! At least he cares about Jefferson...Poor, poor Jefferson...

 

From: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 14, 2008 at 6:50 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Attn: Jefferson T kalnoky111

Sir

In response to your email, the US$ equivalent of GBP1100 should be handed over to the western union agent in order for him to send the transfer. There are some applicable transfer charges you are expected to pay in the process though the charges are very minimal. After the transfer has been sent out, he will hand over copy of the transfer slip where you have the information required to receive the money. This slip should be scanned and sent to us; otherwise you can write the requested information and send it via email. The information required include

1. Sender name and address

2 .Money transfer control number (MTCN)

3. Exact amount sent.

As you have been directed the money should be sent to MR LAWRENCE DICKINSON. Once above information is forwarded to us we will receive the funds immediately. We wish to advise that you make urgent arrangements for this transfer to enable our legal department complete the process in order for us to have your transfer finalized. We will have your payment completed within 24 hours on conclusion of your document endorsement process.

We anticipate your maximum co-operation to enable us serve you better.

Best regards,

David Robert.

I think it's awesome how he writes step by step directions for what is going to happen at Western Union. They really want to make sure I was going to get this right. It was at this point that I started looking into Western Union forms on Google, to see if I could Photoshop one...

 

Now it's time to really up the phone call angle. I really wanted to get this guy on the phone.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 14, 2008 at 9:33 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

 

Thank you for your sympathy. I will pass it along to Jefferson.

 

I have the Western Union Money transfer in my hand. Barclays requested that I scan it and send it to them. I am going back to my office this afternoon, so I will scan it then, and then email it to Mr. David Roberts (I suppose he has no relation to Julia Roberts, since he's in England. That's a shame, I love her work!).

 

Also, I would still like to speak with you about the investment opportunities and what Mrs. Addo would like to invest her money in. I realize that you are based in Sierra Leone, so a phone call would cost much for both of us. If at all possible, can we use the Internet based caller, Skype? It is free to use, as long as you speak with other Skype users. I use it for many of my business meetings, as it cuts down on costs. Would that be alright? You can get it from www.skype.com. It would be a 10 minute call, I honestly don't see it lasting longer than that. Can we perhaps set something up for later today or tomorrow?

 

- Richard

Someone read that, and told me that I was going to lose him. I was sure that, after everything else we've been through, this was nothing.  However...no email came right away. I decided to pull an 'Adrein', and write him again.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 8:16 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

 

It is of the utmost importance that we spoke as soon as we can. Once the money is transferred into my account, I would like to invest it straight away. I am uncomfortable with that much sitting in my account, and would prefer we discuss the possibilities so I may invest it as soon as possible, so Mrs. Addo and her children may have a comfortable life.

 

I will wait to hear from you.

 

Richard

Was it because I wasn't sending the Western Union form? Fine, fine, fine...I finished my design, and sent it along to Barclays.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: barclays bank <barclayslondon@mail.org>,

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 9:25 AM

Subject: Re: Advice

 

Dear Sir,
I have in my hands the document from the Western Union agent. I have scanned said document, and am attaching it to this email, which will send to you via the Internet in millions of bytes of data, for you to receive on your end, to open and see with your own eyes.
I look forward to completing this transaction with you.
- Jefferson

Attached was this form (click to enlarge):

 

 

What I did was fine a nice sized one on Google Images...unfortunately, it was already filled out. So, thanks to Photoshop, I made it blank again. Then, I printed it out, and filled it all in. I even found that little 'approved' image online, printed it out, and then taped it in there.

 

After all that was done, I re-scanned the image in again, making it look like a real live scanned document. And then, viola...instant Western Union Money Transfer! Also, I think it's funny that Jefferson has such a hard time finding a Western Union agent, but can easily read a Western Union form in another language. 

 

Thankfully, this was when Adrein got back to me. With a nice little surprise...

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 9:33 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

You can call me on this number +447024057049. It is important I know if you have resolved the western union issue with David Roberts of Barclays London. You may also send me your direct cell telephone number so that I can reach you directly.

Adrein

Really?! He actually gave me a number?! 

 

Here's the thing, though. The man claims he lives in Sierra Leone. I did a bit of research, and (I may be wrong) the 447 is the prefix for cell phones located in ENGLAND.

I knew I was going to have to make a long distance call, but I just assumed the guy actually lived in Sierra Leone. Then again, he has been lying about everything else, so why the hell didn't I see that coming? 

 

Regardless, it was time to act. I wasn't going to make the call from my phones, because it would cost too much AND then he would have my number.

 

Skype to the rescue. I did a lot of research on how to make International calls with it, and how to record them. I got it all, but I was stuck at work until 4 PM. So, I just had to keep up the email game until then.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 11:53 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

I have sent the scanned copy of the money transfer to David Roberts, and am waiting to hear back from him.

For the sake of cost, is there any chance you would consider using Skype for said phone call? As mentioned before, it would be free for both of us if we both used Skype, and only needs your connection to the Internet to work. It would be much less costly for us to do this then using traditional phone networks.

- Richard

I would have really preferred for both of us to use Skype (obviously), as that would be the free-est thing for me to do. Hence, me mentioning it again.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 12:01 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

I donít have Skype account so I advice you call me on the telephone number I gave you and have your direct cell number sent to me.

Adrein

 

 

between 0000-00-00 and 9999-99-99

That 'between 0000-00-00 and 9999-99-99 was at the way bottom of his email for some reason. Can't figure out why. And it looks like he doesn't want to use Skype. Guess he doesn't have a microphone. I figured I would give the Skype thing one more shot.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 12:17 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

Skype is free to all users, as long as it is used for user to user used calls. It's very simple to use, and quick to set up and use. We should use it.

If you do not wish to use it, though, that is fine, we will not use it.

Is that number you gave me a direct line to you, or will I have to leave a message and have you call back...if that is the case, I'd rather just give you my phone number now, and let you call me at your leisure.

Richard

Lots of usage of the word 'use' in there. I would consider that a homage to Super Troopers. Also, decided to pull an 'Adrein' again, and email him shortly after.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 12:21 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

While on the subject...

You have a yahoo email address, and therefore a yahoo account. We could just as easily use the Voice Feature on the Yahoo messenger, if that would be easier.

I only ask suck things so that we may curb the cost of international calling, as it is quite hefty these days.

- Richard

And then yet again...I literally gave him hardly any time to respond. It was my time to be pushy/annoying.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Tue, Apr 15, 2008 at 12:28 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

Hello? Are you there?

-Richard

He got the hint, and emailed me back pretty quickly.

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 12:33 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

The number I gave you is a direct number and you just call it directly. I will also advice you send me your direct cell number I will call you when I receive it. The skype and yahoo you talked about is fine but I still prefer to call you directly since I have not used yahoo skype free call facilities before.

Adrein

It's a shame he hasn't used 'yahoo skype free call facilities' before. I heard they are all the rage.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 12:49 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

Understandable, kind sir. I am unsure what phone I will call you from (I need to see what has to lowest rates, first, I donít want to be rapedÖuntil Jefferson gets better, that is), but expect a call this evening.

I'm assuming I need to dial a country code to reach out to you...do you happen to know the country code for where you are?

I know I must dial 011 first, to exit the US calling system, and then the country code for where you are, then the numbers you provided.

Or is the 447 at the beginning of the number your own country code?

Do I even need a country code? I know of another code, but it is used for Contra, and probably would not help here.

I look forward to speaking to you, sir

- Richard

Still just wasting time until I could get everything set up for him.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 1:43 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard, 

I am I n receipt of your mail. As advised just dial the number as shown +447024057049. All I will advice you to do is to dial your 011 first to exit US calling system and then dial the number as shown above.

It is an international call so you may need to dial it several times and you did not send your number to me. 

Adrein

I'm going to be real pissed if it's not actually him that answers the phone. 

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 at 4:38 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
I shall call you soon, sweetie
- Richie

I'm currently in the midst of trying to get Skype to work to call him. However, whenever I do, it tells me that Skype does not support these type of calls. WTF, mate? 

 

Here's hoping that I can work something out soon. I'm going to try to get a British friend to call, to see if it's even a real number!

 

UPDATE - Got it to work. However, when the call goes through, a recording of a nice British woman informs me that the number is unavailable at the moment. This is not the end, dear Adrein! You'll rue the day you gave me a false phone number!!

 

I had that friend from England give the number a shot...it was close to midnight (their time) when he called, and he said "a bored, foreign sounding guy" picked up. Could be our man! After that, I sent Adrein the following email.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 15, 2008 6:16 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
Sorry to bother again.
The call went through. However, a recording of this nice British woman
came on and said that the number was unavailable. Do you have bad
reception in your area? Sometimes I do, when I am hiding on tree limbs in residential neighborhoods. The leaves block the reception from leaving my phone, to go into the air, and into the atmosphere, thus damaging the Ozone layer. Hopefully this is not the case with you.

Hope to hear from you soon.

-Richard

I knew it was late already (for him, at least), and I wasn't going to get any response back til the next day anyway.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 16, 2008 3:31 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

I have received your telephone number and will call you later today. I guess it was poor international network that made it difficult for you to reach me.

Adrein

Wait...what?? He got my number? How the hell did he do that?

 

But then I remembered. I have a 'signature' at the bottom of every out going mail. It lists my name, website, and cell phone. Duh. But would he actually call?

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 16, 2008 7:46 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

I shall be in and out of the office all day. Sometimes I get terrible reception. If I do not answer, leave a message, and I will try to contact you back as soon as possible.

Richard

That's true. At work, I get ZERO reception, and that would probably be the time he would call. However, when traveling between job sites this morning, I had my phone on silent (silly me). When I looked at it, I had THREE missed calls, all from unknown numbers. That had to be our man. It actually worked out that I didn't answer, because I didn't have my recorder with me, so I wouldn't have been able to record the conversation anyway.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 16, 2008 10:00 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

Did you try calling me before? I'm sorry, I was in a meeting.

In any event, if you get this email soon, let me know, and I shall try to speak to you via telephonage.

Richard

I knew it had to be him...who else would be calling me? I just needed confirmation.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 16, 2008 11:08 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

I tried calling your telephone number severally but when I realized that you were not taking your calls I decided to leave a voice message.

It is important I receive information on date David Roberts will transfer funds. You earlier informed me that you have resolved all issues with David Roberts and that the western union has been sent. It is then important that you inform us the exact date David Roberts will transfer funds.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

 Voicemail? I didn't get one...That is, unless, he called yet AGAIN when I was in a zero reception area.

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 16, 2008 11:16 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

I did not receive a voice message. Perhaps my phone is not well. It hasnít been feeling well all week. I might have to take it to the doctor.

I will be on the road again, and can be reached via the cell phone. I look forward to hearing from you, and discussing the transfer dates.

Richard

At that point, I had to go somewhere else for work again. And as soon as I got a signal back, a little box came up on my phone.

 

New. Voicemail.

 

I was ecstatic. Could I finally put a voice to the face in the pictures?

 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I can. In fact, you can too. Keep in mind that I had to record this with my handheld digital voice recorder while my cell phone was on speaker phone. I tried to clean up the audio quality a bit, and I got rid of that awful hiss in the back ground, but it's still not perfect. 

 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO ADREIN JONES' VOICEMAIL!!!

 

In case you can't hear it all that well (which is understandable), here is a transcript of the voicemail (mostly):

 

Yea, Richard, this is Adrein Jones. I've been trying to call you, I've tried to call you twice, and, uh...I couldn't reach you. But I've seen your mails here, you said you, uh, in a meeting and, uh, went out of office. I will, uh, continue to respond to your email. And, um, I would want to know, what happened when Barclays London would transfer the funds. Rose Addo need this information...urgently. I hope you have resolved all issues with Barclays Bank, and I hope that...(honestly, I have no friggin clue what he's saying here. Any ideas?)...and it is important you inform me when Barclays London is transferring funds, please! Send me a mail and have this information sent. Thank you.

Wow...a voicemail from a real, live scammer. That's awesome. Anyway, he sent me another email right after the voicemail.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 16, 2008 1:11 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

I tried to call you but cannot reach through, this could be all due to poor international network. I will advice that we communicate via email for now until a time we can conveniently discuss on phone. The important issue is to receive update from you which you did not send to me. It is imperative I receive information on date David Roberts will transfer funds. You earlier informed me that you have resolved all issues with David Roberts and that the western union has been sent. It is then important that you inform us the exact date David Roberts will transfer funds.

I will wait to hear from you.

Adrein

By the time I got to read this, I was home from work, and tried to get him onto Skype yet again to record our conversation easily!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 16, 2008 3:55 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
By the time you called, I was probably already out of the office yet again. I do wish to speak with you via telephone to discuss the investment opportunities I have looked into, as it would be easier to explain via mouth than via fingers.
I did sent all information to Mr. David Roberts, and am currently awaiting word back from him on what the date of transfer would be, at which point I will gladly tell you.
As soon as he informs me, expect an email from me.
Yet again, though, I plead to speak to you via voice. The phone does not seem to be working out very well for us, though. I ask yet again if we can use Skype or Yahoo to speak, as both are very simple and easy to use, and we can speak freely and quickly on there. I will even guide you through the process.
I will wait to hear from you.
Richard

It was becoming apparent at this point that I probably wasn't going to get him on the phone, due to international calling rates, time differences, and his general stupidness. 

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 17, 2008 at 4:26 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

I strongly feel that you should request David Roberts to send you information when he will transfer funds. This information is important to Mrs.. Rose Addo and she needs it and if I donít provide the information to her she may become suspicious.

I advice that you ask David Roberts again for this information and send it to me.

Adrein

Rose Addo will become suspicious?! What about me?!?!

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 17, 2008 at 2:49 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

I have sent a request out to David Roberts to provide me with the date and time of transfer, and he, thus far, has been, like a devout virgin nun, unresponsive.

I am waiting to hear back from him, and will inform you of his answer as soon as he gets back to me.

I still wish to speak of investment opportunities with you.

Richard

At least that part was true. I DID send the fake Western Union form to 'David,' and haven't received a response. Maybe THAT guy knew I was screwing with them, and just wasn't telling our friend, Dr. Jones.

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 17, 2008 at 4:04 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Richard,

 

I got Mrs. Rose Addo to contact David Roberts and when she did, she was informed that nothing has been resolved and David Roberts informed her that he has not received the western union information from you and only when he does will he be able to process transfer procedures.

You informed me that you sent the western union to David Roberts and this is not the case. I advice you contact David Roberts and resend the western union information to him. You are delaying transfer process and you still ask me to discuss investment with you.

I will wait for you to contact David Roberts urgently and have the western union information sent to him again.  Mrs. Rose Addo is not happy with all this delay from you and she has asked me to express her displeasure and if things continue this way, she may interest and I cannot guarantee your future investment relationship with her.

I will wait to hear from you soon.

 

Adrein

I'm glad she expressed her displeasure. Too bad she's not a real person, otherwise she could tell me herself. Of course he can't guarantee my future investment with her, but I can guarantee that he's going to keep trying to get my money.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 17, 2008 at 9:39 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
Are you calling me a liar, sir? If so, I will challenge you to a duel! 

If computers had gloves, I would surely take mine off, and slap you across your face!

I did send the Western Union money transfer slip to David Roberts.
In any event, because of your earlier email, I have re-sent it to him via
email, as requested. Perhaps the email did not go through last time?
In any event, I sent it again, and I hope he receives it this time.
I am not purposely delaying the transfer process, as I want to
complete this in a timely manner to help Mrs. Addo. Please inform her
that it was not my intention. I hope we can continue to discuss
investment opportunities soon.

Don't call me a liar again, or there will be repercussions.
Richard

I'm a tough guy over the Internet, aren't I?  

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 18, 2008 at 5:19 AM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Jeff,

 

I advice you send the western union slip to me I will like to see the slip and confirm it to Mrs. Rose Addo.

It is important that this issue is resolved to enable David Roberts process fund transfer.

 

Adrein

Again, I was busy, and didn't get to respond to him in a timely manner, so he got antsy again. 

 

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 19, 2008 at 12:08 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Jeff,

 

I sent you a mail and requested that you send me the copy of western union money transfer you made to David Roberts for confirmation to Mrs. Rose Addo who has insisted on seeing the copy as David Roberts has consistently maintained that he has not received any western union information from you and that he cannot effect fund transfer without this.

I want to inform you again that Mrs. Rose has asked to me request you send the copy of western union money transfer. The scanned copy should be sent urgently so that she can understand what is going on and reconfirm position with David Roberts.

It is important I inform you that Mrs. Rose Addo is worried and want you to handle fund transfer as soon as possible.

I advice you respond urgently with update.

 

Adrein

This email reads as "I want your money, bitch." 

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 19, 2008 at 12:59 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
I apologize, I was out of the state for the day yesterday, and am only just returning now. The scanned slip and the physical slip are both in my office. I can not make it there until later this evening, so I will send it to you later tonight.
Also, this is Richard still. Jefferson has still not woken up yet.
- Richard

Again, I would like to point out that, at this point, getting him on the phone for the ultimate 'end game' wasn't going to happen. So, I devised a new plan, for the next best thing. Why not make a video, and send it to him? Perfect, right? I sent the above email, hoping that I would finish it by the next day, but ultimately, I did not...so, I had to delay him yet again.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 21, 2008 at 1:19 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,

Attached is the Western Union slip.

Sorry for the delay!

Richard

I sent him the fake Western  Union slip that I sent David Roberts...I was ALMOST done with the video, but I had to wait until work was over before I could upload it, and send it along.

 

However, while waiting to go home, I got this peculiar email...

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 21, 2008 at 3:28 PM

Subject: from bob

 

Tolia,

See attached the western union slip Jeff send give me. Make you confirm if indeed he sent anything.

Bob

Attached to this email was the fake Western Union slip. Who is Tolia? And who is BOB for that matter? Did I get this email by mistake?! Did Adrein accidentally send it to me, and mean to send it to his cohort, who would cash it in? 

 

Actually, yes, I believe that was exactly what happened.

 

Ten minutes later, realizing his mistake, Adrein emails me again, explaining the previous email.

From: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

To: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

Date: Apr 21, 2008 at 3:39 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Jeff,

 

I am in receipt of attached copy of western union slip you sent to me. I will like you inform you that  I have given the slip to my confidant by name Bob Raphel with an instruction to pass it on to Mr. Tolia Steve who is Mrs. Rose Addo immediate younger brother.

I asked them to confirm the payment and check why David Roberts has not received the western union. I will inform you when I receive this information. I also will advice that you resend the western union to David Roberts.

I will wait to receive confirmation.

 

Adrein

What a dummy. He tries to pass it off like a friend send that email along. OK, so now we know what he looks like, know what he sounds like, and we know his name.

 

By now, the video was uploaded and ready to go. It was time for him to know that I was screwing with him for damn near a month.

 

From: Jeff Heimbuch <jeff@bamferproductions.com>

To: adjones <sejonesmich@yahoo.com>

Date: Apr 21, 2008 at 6:27 PM

Subject: Re: Investment Inquiry

 

Adrein,
I have received your email about you being in receipt of the attached copy of the Western Union slip. I hope it arrived to you safe and sound, and it's travels through the internet did not harm it.
I appreciate that you passed it along to Mr. Tolia Steve, Mrs. Rose Addo's immediate younger brother, and that you did so immediately. I know this is a family affair. Will he be joining Mrs. Addo in America?
I have also resent the Western Union slip to David Roberts, and hope he receives it as well as I give it.
Since the telephone procedure did not work out, I have made up a short investment proposal for you and Mrs.Rose Addo to look over. I would appreciate it if you watched it immediately, and then let me know your feedback. It is urgent that I know how you feel about it.
I have set it up for you over at http://bamferproductions.com/adrein.htm
Please let me know as soon as you view it.
Speaking with you soon, xoxo,
Richard

You can check out that page yourself, if you'd like. There IS an actual video there. There's even a link to the YouTube version, just in case it takes too long to load for you (or you can just visit the Youtube version by clicking here).

 

But yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's how you let a scammer know that you have been screwing with him for weeks.

 

Thus far, I haven't received a response back from him. If I do, I will be sure to update this page. If not, then at least we have all these memories to cherish him by.

 

If the phone number still works by the time you read this, feel free to give Adrein a call. Tell him Jefferson sent ya.

 

I hope you enjoyed reading all of this, and that it was worth your time.

 

THANKS FOR READING!!!!

 

UPDATE!! AUGUST 2008!!!

 

Well folks, it's been some time now since the saga of Adrein Jones came to a close. Looking back and re-reading this entire thing, I can't believe how much time and effort I put into this. What a nut case I am!

 

I also can't believe how many people have taken the time to actually sit down and read through this entire thing! Since releasing this conversation onto the Internet, I've gotten a flood of emails from people letting me know how much they've enjoyed reading it. I've been sent links to websites, forums, and various other places on the 'net where people have posted a link back to this. The comments some of you guys have left are amazing. I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this, and it definitely made the whole thing worth while. If you come across this page posted somewhere on the Internet, shoot me an email and let me know! Hell, shoot me an email anyway, and let me know what you thought! I'd love to hear from you!

 

On a side note, a month or so after this ended, I went to my friend's wedding. To find out what table you were sitting out, they had created little name tags for everyone. I find mine, took it, and went about my day.

 

Shortly before it was time to leave, I noticed that there was one name tag left that hadn't been picked up. "That's funny," I thought. "They told me everyone that had invited showed up! Who forgot their nametag?"

 

So, I walked over to the table, and had one of the biggest laughs of my life:

 

 

It's things like that that definitely made this email exchange worthwhile.

 

Thanks again for reading, guys!